Design Tuesday

image via unruly-things

I am not down or anything , but it always relaxes me and feels so easy to look at beautifully organized and decorated rooms, houses. I could change couple of things in this house but also would live in it without any complaints. Still... my favorite is this bedroom..

I am feeling geeky nowadays and started to connect my accounts on twitter, facebook and blogger. Let's see how it works. This post is also a test run to see how  all these function.

I am also organizing everything in flickr and I think I will go pro and use it to store all the photos I own and all the future photos I will ever take. Then I need to connect blogger and flickr.

I now stop complaining about the heat. After begging my parents to install an AC in their house I just found out that in the attic we have a fan! I carried the box down, cleaned every peace- no dust is allowed for me-, put it together and voila, I am a happy gal, being able to study - in a distant future at least-

Today is dark moon, so don't worry if your energy level is very low today. And the third day without a yoga practice for me since in ashtanga yoga we do not practice in the full and new/dark moon.

Muscle Memory

Me and the Sister drinking tea in Urla

It's amazing how muscle memory works. I mentioned it before, I played basketball for 12 years- 9 years competitive and with very heavy practices. That's why it is very hard for me to be comfortable in Paschimottasana if I have a break from my yoga practice. My hamstrings are tend to shorten very fast because of all this basketball practice - I assume. But really, I can do squats forever even if I do not practice them for ages and I do not feel tired a bit, but just not forcing my back when I stretch to my toes is almost impossible if I do not try it more than a week. I, now been practicing my Ashtanga Yoga for almost a year. I do not know if I am improved much, but I am loving it everyday a bit more... How I wish I could practice it uninterrupted for years and years and years...

My beloved Vaio

A mosquito with a pony tail :)

Above is one of the warm ups in shadow yoga called mosquito. My practice is still modified, so no more photos. Nowadays there was supposed to be a photo shoot for my yoga practice for archiving the progress. But with the bad knee muscles and the traumatised back you cannot really tell if there is any progress. 

Today I am being quite productive. Since I have to work on my talk, I am very prolific about every little thing which is not related to the talk.. I am also archiving today since I got the message from my beloved Vaio (my  vintage laptop :)) -after ignoring her more than a month- "Operating system not found". I was upset since I did not take the back up of some photos. I thought somebody dropped it when I was away cos' that was likely to be a harddisk error. Anyhow, I found the recovery CD since it did not even start rescue from the keyboard shortcuts and changed the bios settings and yup it was working until it was not. So it was hopeless. I lost all the photos. After couple of more tries, in despair I pressed the turn off button regarding my old friend as a salvage, with my mother on the back ground saying "I did not even touch it, I did not even know it was here... Probably she is only cross with you" etc. I really had an emotional link with my Vaio, recently no one could use it but me since it gone really weird and I had to run everything from the command line.. "Oh my Vaio Vaio" I was thinking. I gave it a one last chance, removed the CD and pressed the turn on... Voila!!! Everything was there, my amazing background with an amazing resolution, my music, my photos... Ah it felt so good. So I am taking the back up of my D drive.. I should use an online solution like Flickr or Picasa for my photos too. Will do it soon when I have more time. 

Vaios are great, the sound the resolution everything about them are amazing. I just love her! Thanks for hanging out buddy. I promise I will take a better care of you from now on..

Listening to the Cure, the soundrack of Closer and Kings of Leon- Milk (for the last one I have been looking for in vain in every online music world).. Feeling like old times... good times...

EDIT: My poor Vaio, after letting me graciously have my back up, it suddenly died... I guess this time irreversible. :(

Making notebooks

My get well soon present from Mr. Designer :)

Kaan can make notebooks, books, magazines... A hand made universe we have around here! It's so cool. 

I could finally practice -albeit modified- the primary series, after a long break. I practiced but did not feel it for the last couple of days, did not even bother to try yesterday.... I had moon days, then became sick, then I hurt my back. My spine and back were hurting till 2 a.m. this morning, until I decided to take a pain killer. I feel much better today. And finally feeling the after effects of a good practice. 

Last week I noticed that I stopped breathing many times or rather was holding my breath. I do not know still what went wrong with me, but finally I am breathing again. Literally all my muscles can feel it. When you stop breathing the life does not flow through your body and of course many things go wrong. I think I was only taking breath that would be enough for baring a day... 

Got to go..Got to catch the sunny day in London...

Wishing you many deep, relax, rejuvenating breaths...

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Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana (Yeah that's a right arm)

Marichyasana A

Ahh today's practice was a-ma-zing. I even tried some of the asanas in the primary series I have never tried before. Some of them felt awesome. No pictures of them sorry. I did not want to turn this practice into a photo shoot. Next photo shoot is on or around May 7th. Tomorrow is new moon, no practice. I will be quite busy anyway. I loved the Seminar I joined today. I can say I understood 70 percent of German, and talked to the people sitting next to me always in German. Yay! I am exhausted. Our universe is expanding but not rotating! Oh no..

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Ready...

Utthita Padmasana (Elevated Lotus)

It's been a long day. With only two hours sleep I managed to get my residence permit after standing in a line in the morning breeze for 3 hours and more waiting was there without the morning breeze... But it's finally over...

The weather was beautiful when I got home in the lunch time. I grabbed my mat, unrolled it to the fresh grass and started the warm ups from shadow yoga under the inspection of curious neighbors. Some warm ups look funny I know, but I tried to stay in the present without thinking of the curious eyes. I took photos of some asanas. Boy the image in your head and what you are doing is so different. Today is April 8th. I will take the next photos on May 8th or so. And let's see if there is an invisible development. Lengthening the spine must be my focus, then hamstring will lengthen naturally. When practicing always in my mind: Can you ride the breath as a bird in the breeze...

In the library now, dozed off for an hour so. Simply fainted in the reading lounge... Managed to read an overview of Godel's cosmological solutions by Hawkings which answered many questions in my mind but raised many others... I have to narrow down the topic...

Weekend is approaching!

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Philologische Library (Brain)

This is the library I have been studying in. It's forbidden to take pictures. These ones are from its web page. I would have loved to show you the reading lounge. It's so cozy. Maybe someday...

I feel really tired. It's been a week that I moved now. I have been studying regularly for two days. I finished the readings of my discussion paper. And now reading about mind bugging rotating universes. Argghh my mind is so slow. I haven't been sleeping regularly for a long long time now. It affects how your mind works..

I practiced the ashtanga series today, but my mind was only half the time at the present. The breath, the breath... It's important. Swenson asks: "Can you ride the breath as a bird in the breeze?" Can I please?

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Motion in Urdhva Padmasana

Two months ago, I wrote about my new year resolutions. It's good to see that, I have already accomplished one or two and have taken steps towards achieving the others. Some of them looked so hard at the time, like finding a long term accommodation... Life is never how we expect it to be. Without thinking of these resolutions today I hanged posters around the school to find a tandem. Then I saw that it was on my list... 

I observe my feelings nowadays a lot. Try to stay out of them but not suppressing. When there is a hard, sad feeling that I cannot deal with I try to think of it as if it's someone else's. Then I can be more objective. But to achieve this is so hard. It's a constant battle. And I am very tired today... No Yoga for three days due to moon days... And I need it so much.. Can I bike tomorrow morning to Wannsee? Then study for 4 hours and get organized? What will life bring? My mind is SO full. Let's see what will tomorrow be like... 

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Going out (of the picture) ... :)

I rearranged the furniture, it feels more like my room... David Swenson's book is amazing. I probably practiced for 2 hours today. Well I should not really do that. Practicing one day 30 minutes, one day an hour and another 2 hours. But I wanted to take my time to do every asana correct and read about and try again. So it was not a flow but more of an experiment. I liked it..

I do not have internet at home. We have it but I do not.. It's complicated. But I kinda prefer it. Not having internet in my bedroom. I read, sit, knit and think... It's a bit hard though.. I think we build an addiction towards having internet all the time...

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This is where I have been walking

This is how I have been working

This is how it smells

This is where I have been staying. (Jetpack Eco)

This is how the weather was 

I found a room. It's quite far from the center. But it's 10 minutes bike ride to the beautiful forest Grunewald and 10 minutes bike ride to the library and the university... I am moving tomorrow morning.. I need a bike immediately.. I should resume my study. I stopped by the library just for the sake of stopping by. Set up my internet account. Looked at my book, just stared. Then left for seeing my room. 

I carried my yoga-mat all day long for a chance to practice some asanas in the forest but it rained when I was willing and the weather became nice as I became exhausted. I practiced some warm ups and Surya Namaskars in the evening.. Tomorrow is full moon, no yoga.. I slept only 3 hours in 2 days and cannot sleep due to over-exhaustion.. Oh Well... All I need to do is to move tomorrow. And maybe a bit of library visit and a bit of handcraft practice and hanging posters for lecture giving... Oh Well... Just moving then..

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Urdhva Dhanurasana

This asana is supposed to increase energy levels and fight depression. I am quite far away from the complete form...

Woke up early despite the fact that I did not sleep well at all. I keep having dreams about Berlin. I love Berlin but my dreams are nightmarish. Two nights ago, in my dream, I got off the plane thinking that it was Cologne where I have arrived while it was actually /in the dream/ was Berlin. I had my bike in Cologne /I still have it in front of a friend's house/ and left my luggages in the airport since I could not carry them on my bike. I looked and looked and looked for the house I was going to live in. Tried to remember the street name I lived in I could not. But I was in Cologne, but it was Berlin. I woke up exhausted!

Last night I dreamed of my mails that was supposed to arrive when I got back to Berlin. My school registration and semester ticket must have been already in my ex-house. But in my dream it was not there. With my ex-flatmate we went through the stack of mails and could not find them. I was so sad. I also did not like the house I was going to rent in my dream. I woke up exhausted!

Please my mind. I am begging you to let it go. When the time comes you can think about these. I have still 4 lovely days in London. Study and stroll; that's all you need to do. 

Today I will try to be focused in my meditation and practice. Let's see if I can connect to subconscious even a little bit.

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Bhujapidasana

This is a favorite asana and I need to loose some weight. I do not have a scale but I eat too much and I know I gained some. Usually I eat too much for a day or two then I go back to my normal self... I have been at the same weight for 10 years now. Last year I lost 2 kilos on our trip to South East Asia. That felt so good. Then the summer in Germany. Oh the beers and the curry wursts. That 2 kilos were back in couple of months..So anyway. What I am saying is that, I have been eating not oh-so-moderately for a month now and it's not good. I don't know what emotional issues I have but gaining weight is making me more stressed anyway. So! This month is dedicated to loose some weight. .. For that I need a routine.. How is that possible when you are travelling... I must program my subconsciousness... Sleeping and waking up at the same hours! This is gonna be a big challenge. I will be an honest person and write here the progresses. 

Yup I studied a bit. Space and Time in Kant. Nope I was not oh-so-brilliant.  

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Adho Mukha Svanasana 

Ardha Paddha Padma Paschimottanasana

The first pose: I am almost getting there! The heels must be on the ground and the head relax... The second is also an almost ready pose. My hamstring muscles need to get more flexible. With an everyday practice there is always a progress

Yup, I went to the charity shop in Brixton. It was quite spacious. But no changing room. You can try at home and change in 14 days. 

In my mind I am returning to Berlin already. In my dreams I am there. The moving trauma begins.. Exercise is a must. I hope I will not skip any practice... Otherwise it's all a known story... No studies for today yet.. I will cook leek now.. Will I study? Will I be brilliant? I hope so..

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My SIM cards: Turkey-Germany-England...It's amazing how easy you can get one and instantly begin talking..


I ran in Stockwell. What a polluted weather! It's the main hub between South and North they say.. But anyway, it definitely reduced my stress level..Will try the parks next time. It is sunny weather since I got here. Wow..


I keep eating raw food. Yoga effect?

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Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana

EDIT: A good time to learn about maximizing reverence and minimizing violence is while struggling with a posture like Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Standing Forward Bend). From yogajournel

This pose looks so hard in the beginning but once you get a bit of flexibility it can be done without much effort. The full form can be seen here. My camera does not give me enough time :) I keep feeling/ thinking that my back is straight in forward bendings. But no sir! There is an improvement but my back is still quite curly. Photos teach me...I also like to write Sanskrit names of Asanas. In this way I learn them better..

I ordered two books today. Ashtanga Yoga - The Practice Manual by David Swenson and Everyday Enlightenment by Sally Bongers. Looking forward for their arrival. David Swenson is one of the best instructors for Ashtanga Yoga. Now that I have my goal set for a full primary, I need to get each Asana right and should know the details of the practice. Bongers' book is about enlightenment/ change of ordinary people who stay ordinary after they change too. Love the idea..

Stressful factors are remaining in my life. Just waiting...

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Padottanasana D in Kaan's room

I am preparing my lecture for the workshop on space and time. I need to study special relativity as well as general relativity. I hope this will help my PhD thesis as well since I am spending two hours a day, everyday. Well time is interpreted differently. It might help for the interpretation of intuitions. 

Back to real life. I still do my asanas everyday. London is not my soul mate city, but I believe if you are a good traveler you can always find a way to love a certain city. But it's also about the timing. I am already stressed so being in a stressful city does not help much. 

What happened yesterday in my meditation in Savasana was hilarious and weird. I talked about feeling like being connected to the universe through my navel during my meditation in a previous post. But this time during the meditation the image appeared to me was a curly navel cord trying to connect to the center. It's so funny! Also I feel the difference in general if I am in the ground floor or in the upper floors. 

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Photo via emmasblogg

I also loved this bedroom. Still the white one is my favorite. Today I am a bit stressed (You can tell from me looking at  comfi room photos :)). It's been quite a fast week. I am back in Izmir. Finished the foreword and sent it to the publishing company. Ordered the book I need for my workshop presentation and got it today. I am also working on our internet project and changing some codes for translating the website into Turkish. 

In Istanbul I went to swimming almost everyday. Was doing my practices briefly :) Today I had two practices. The morning one was quite short, only warm ups, few surya namaskars and a short meditation. But the afternoon one was an almost full primary. That's good. 

This post via Mandy helped a bit with my day:

"The solution is not to suppress our thoughts and desires, for this would be impossible; it would be like trying to keep a pot of water from boiling by pressing down tightly on the lid. The only sensible approach is to train ourselves to observe our thoughts without following them. This deprives them of their compulsive energy and is therefore like removing the pot of boiling water from the fire." ~Lama Thubten Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra

I am working on that...

Picking up Olives

That's my father's hands, picking up olives.

These olives are picked for oil making.

Black olives for breakfast are also picked up from the ground.

Green ones are picked from the the tree

Each two weeks, approximately, we pick the olives.

Then new olives fall.

We have 20 trees in our farm.

Hmm it takes 2-3 hours to finish picking with only my father and me.

It's the most fun when you are crowded.

But my sister was in Barcelona for the last pickings and my mother's neck was hurting.

So it was only my father and me.

Last week was the last picking.
Olive season is over and I am in Istanbul drinking my coffee and watching the Bosphorus.
We will have delicious olive oil.
We give the oils to the factory and factory give you 1/6 percent oil free.
You can pick the oil you like, it does not have to be from your own olives.
We like the oil with a low PH. 3 or sth like that. Taste, smell and get it..Yummyy

Never Explain...

Never explain...

your friends do not need it,

your enemies will not believe it...

(From a powerpoint presentation I received today)

Sleepless in Koeln

I was doing really good this week, but then comes a night without any sleep. I am not feeling tired. Well I was all ready to go to sleep then I start to think about my coming month with a lot of bureaucracy and stress. Then thought about the emails to be send, planes tickets to be bought. Whether if I should go to the conference next week or stay here? If I stay in Koeln where should I stay? Should I go to Berlin in September or October? Should I take the IELTS test or try to convince the guys in Berlin that I do not need it? Should I go to Berlin next week and see the people in registration in person? If I take the test should I take it here or in Izmir or in Berlin or in Istanbul? What if I cannot get the scholarship? When am I going to be able to talk German fluently?... Then it was already 5 in the morning.

Well my moon days are not here, and the new moon is gone. So now I will do yoga I guess..

Here and now, where is my here and now?