via here

Haste… What is it and what causes it?  Never ending rush … Worrying too much… Thinking that multitasking is good…. Craving approval and taking too much responsibility. .. Or just wanting to get to the result, to the end of the book, to care about not “how” things are happening but “what “ happens in the end… Or thinking: OK this is the last errand I will take care of before getting to the main job… And the main thing is still there after several days waiting for you to deal with it.

With the speed of twitter, facebook, emails, haste is controlling our lives. Texting immediately with shortened words, sending birthday messages without even trying to remember them anymore (FB reminds them to us anyway), ordering from Amazon and getting it in your Kindle in 3 seconds; we cannot lead a slow pace life yet we do not conquer more goals despite the speedy “hasty” pace.

Haste is a disease that makes us live our lives tangentially; we are so close to do the real thing we want to do but we can only touch it at one point from time to time.

Haste… how to conquer it? Or how to be friends with it maybe? Still do not know. 

And now for something completely different… "To connect we just have to be vulnerable": watch here. It left my eyes misty, such a good one...

And for something totally different, I hate technological things being so slow in Europe. We had an appointment for connecting our phone line for the internet three weeks after application and they did not even show up on the day... So no internet still... I am mad  and come on..... this is 21st century! And my back hurts could not practice yoga for ages and this is a vicious circle, no yoga ->back ache, back ache-> no yoga. 


I miss my yoga practices and thinking and writing about them, it's such a different mood. And today it's a big come back for the dissertation. I have been in the library since morning. And aiming to finish one of the readings I have been carrying for so long..

Have good weekend! Oz

Before the afternoon I wrote about space and time and my college adviser was in my head telling me, how did you arrive at this conclusion, why did you use 'thus' here, you could elaborate this quotation...

In the afternoon, I practiced till bakasana. With my ashtanga yoga teachers in my head telling me, move the left kidney forward, push your legs towards the ground, breath out slowly and fully.

Once you get the voices in your head (well not that voices), I think, until the next level you can have your own controlled practice (Because also as my college adviser said once: Not practice, controlled practice makes perfect).

 I was a bit sad that I quit studio practices since I was improving really fast. But then now I am getting better instead on the self practice, observing myself,  self discipline. I am slowing down on the physical side but learning much more about the other aspects of the yoga..

Instead of focusing how long my  practice took and how many asanas I was doing, I focused on each asana, and explored the details. And as a result my practice had a better flow than previous ones.

Now have to resume studying. Nowadays, I do creative writing without any editing in the mornings, reading in the middle and then editing as the last thing. It will get better.. If you do it everyday, you get better at doing it everyday :)

Have a nice week..

My practices are now about 40 minutes with the finishing. I did not practice the whole weekend..(Well then I found out Sunday was full moon anyway :)) I skip two standing asanas every time and practice only up to navasana plus bakasana. Everyday I say to myself, OK I will do a full series, at least up to bakasana. But I feel so tired nowadays. I gained two kilos, which is OK, but do not want to gain more. Plus I might have lost some muscles.. Well anywhoo... I am hoping for some progress in my yoga practices. I do not know what I can do, but I am just hoping for now...

My dissertation's progress is quite slow and I keep reading stuff to motivate myself. And keep telling myself that unless I do not stop it's still OK. Yesterday I read about Kaizen's method, but I do everything that can be utilized according to this method. My most inspiring blog collection for writing a dissertation "To Do: Dissertation" did not post anything, now for more than one week. And usually there is quite stuff . Well anywhoo, hope goes for the dissertation too. Just feeling extremely tired. Sigh..

Picture was taken this Sunday in old Tempelhof Airport, now the Tempelhof Park. Missing the weekend..

Nowadays it's only yoga or writing my thesis. Last two weeks yogawise were horrible, I could only practice 30 minutes in a day when I can. And this reflected to my long practices  yesterday and today. My upper back leg muscles are suffering. My muscles tend to shorten in such a short time. It's unbelievable. However the improvement in parivritta parshvakonasana (revolved side angle pose- see picture) is making me content. Getting the help from legs is important; you use your legs, pushing them towards the ground and at the same time towards each other. This helps you to rotate. There is no work for the spine, the spine simply follows the movement. When done right it's very relaxing for my poor aching back -sitting in front of a computer with a deadline is a quite stressful thing- and the neck is long towards the raised hand. When you start the pose, you always look at the ground when turning which makes the pose harder. When G told me look up not down, trusting my balance was at stake and it took a while until I could do it.

 I needed to be closer to the ground. The pictures help me to see what I am really doing. In my mind all poses look so different than the pictures.  I cannot believe how much orange and pink exist in the picture :)

I am handing in my first chapter in 9 days. I found out about a method called "pomodoro". It's for time management. You use a digital counter designed for that purpose and do nothing but what you have to do in 25 minutes then take a short break for 5 minutes. The details are here. The counter is running as I am writing these words. I have only 25 minutes to finish this blog post.

It's funny, today I wrote about the concept of triangle in my thesis. And now writing about a triangle in the primary series. Just funny..

Order

I am finally the me who I wanted to be. It's been crazy during and after the holiday times. A lot of new situations that I needed to get adjusted. But finally my soul felt like it was the normal life again.

During my practice today, there was a perfect flux. Did not even think of the next asana, did not think about the time, did not criticize any pose. When I was doing forward bending poses I felt me the more and backward bends the surroundings. I never had such a beautiful practice before. A offered me great tips in some asanas. I love the way the muscles learn to behave differently in these practices. Every muscle you use become individually analyzed. Rotating, flexing, stretching, imagining are all part of the process...

For those who come here to read a bit of logic and philosophy, my logic blog will be up and running soon again with the review of the interesting readings that I am doing currently for my thesis. I would love to get feedbacks from you!

Have a lovely week...

Yoga and Life 3

Image: Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Standing Forward Bend)- One of the easy ones...


Having longer arms and legs compare to your body makes some poses a piece of cake but then the poses where you cannot use this advantage turns into a struggle because you worked in an easy way with the other ones. Uhh. On my way to the yoga class this morning all I could think was that I wanted to practice neither Parivrtta Trikonasana (Revolved Triangle Pose) nor Parivrtta Parsvakonasana (Revolved Side Angle Pose). I was just like a spoiled kid, I will not will not will not practice them. Life is just easier without them and it went on and on and on. Gladly these thoughts were not there during sun salutations, but then the time came, I said ok, at least G should not come and fix the pose I will just do it quickly and will be done with them.... I usually sweat like crazy, my balance is like a ship in a storm, and my face is unhappy, my breaths are completely chaotic, man I hate these poses.. And of course G was next to me correcting, giving tips but I just told him I HATE these poses and he told me, well you can just do all the asanas in an easy way and claim that you are practicing ALL the asanas, and feel great but that you need to enjoy and learn completely each pose...

I used to compete in Snowboarding and since I was afraid or  "did not have time" to try new things because I was enjoying the things I was already doing so much, after three years of competing in free style I was bored to hell, and there was no way I could improve myself after not improving myself for three years... And all the fun is in the improving. The point is not to get done something immediately, it's about observing the road as if you are travelling, once you get there it's already finished, you have nothing left, just some applauds and self satisfaction but that does not give joy for a long time I tell you.

So I will just observe the pain, the ship in the storm, the sweat, the square hips, mounting the toes, engaging the bandhas, keeping the breath calm and deep, turning the torso, resisting with the back leg, legs active and pulling up.... Breath and remain....

And can you believe that parivrtta trikonasana is good for asthma and parivrtta parsvakonasana could cure infertility?

Nowadays

That's how my day was today.. Yoga practices are so good nowadays. My bellowed academic adviser, once upon a time, told me that it's not the practice that makes perfect, it's the controlled practice.. And it's so true. Everyday in Mysore classes, I learn at least one tip that makes a move easier, better, more fun. Did I tell you that my instructors are great in Ashtanga Yoga Berlin? Well you might hear it more :) Never seen such group of nice and fun people together.. My favorite pose is the above one nowadays, bhujapidasana...It's quite fun when your head touches the ground.

And today I attended my first beach volley practice. It felt amazing to be running all around in the marvelous, thin sand in this gloomy and cold weather (of course it's an indoor beach center :)

It's full moon tomorrow and no practices... I was so tired when I got home, I fell asleep at 9pm and of course now I am up fully awake (It's 2 am, sigh..) And I have got so much studying to do tomorrow, hope that goes well.

For the image sources just click on the pictures..

that's one way of looking at things ...

“Everything that needs to happen, will happen, in the time that it takes to happen, the way it was meant to happen. You need to trust in that.”  via  little reminders of love

OK, I am out of practice, but why not...

Talking about practice, today it was a great yoga practice, the whole primary. I love my teachers in Ashtanga Yoga Berlin. A proper review will come soon.

Image via here

3 & 4 - Uttasana A and B

Uttasana A./ standing forward bend. Exhale with ujjayi breathing and the dristhi, in other words the gaze should be at the tip of the nose. And with Uttasana B, look at the horizon,  straighten your back and you are ready for the next pose, chaturanga dandasana/ four limbed staff pose...


Just got to Izmir today. The tatata tititi of my tiny luggage, the airports, the cars, the flight attendances... Letting go is the key for coping nowadays, we do not have any control, none at all...Sigh..

2 - Urdhva Vrksasana

Urdhva vrksasana/ tadasana, tree pose... The second step after samasthiti in ashtanga yoga, inhaling, keeping the eyes focused on the thumbs,  feeling the extension of the body, feeling the stretch.... The shoulder blades should be slided down and back, leg muscles should be engaged so as the bandhas. Imagine your spine being long, very long..With ujjayi breathing take a deep breath and the next pose uttasana a./ standing forward bend..

I am taking my lunch break and having a cup of coffee in starbucks. The library ANAMED is so cool, in every sense. My escape from the heat and the world... Although we had a little conflict in the entrance it is a nice place to study.  I finished reading an already half-way-read paper.. How I wish to finish the article I have been dragging with me every possible place you can imagine before I leave Istanbul. Let's keep our hopes high.. Very high...

In the photo my new close friend "the fan" and me, practicing in my parent's living room...I guess the fan is going for samasthiti...

Muscle Memory

Me and the Sister drinking tea in Urla

It's amazing how muscle memory works. I mentioned it before, I played basketball for 12 years- 9 years competitive and with very heavy practices. That's why it is very hard for me to be comfortable in Paschimottasana if I have a break from my yoga practice. My hamstrings are tend to shorten very fast because of all this basketball practice - I assume. But really, I can do squats forever even if I do not practice them for ages and I do not feel tired a bit, but just not forcing my back when I stretch to my toes is almost impossible if I do not try it more than a week. I, now been practicing my Ashtanga Yoga for almost a year. I do not know if I am improved much, but I am loving it everyday a bit more... How I wish I could practice it uninterrupted for years and years and years...

A Sunday Smile

Summary of the day:Yoga, Flee Market..These are the goods that I bought... Now off to Library..

Hay fever

I lost one of the knitting needles. I was almost finishing the first piece!

Aaaaaaaaaaargghhh, I have the worst hay fever for weeks. And today is worse than every other day I. I am so groggy after two allergy medicines and they did not stop any symptoms. I feel like I am not in life, cannot do anything, cannot talk, walk, study... Boy I feel so down. Please allergies leave me alone. 

They say acupuncture is helpful. But if it helps then yoga should help too. I gotta start doing the full flow again. 

My beloved Vaio

A mosquito with a pony tail :)

Above is one of the warm ups in shadow yoga called mosquito. My practice is still modified, so no more photos. Nowadays there was supposed to be a photo shoot for my yoga practice for archiving the progress. But with the bad knee muscles and the traumatised back you cannot really tell if there is any progress. 

Today I am being quite productive. Since I have to work on my talk, I am very prolific about every little thing which is not related to the talk.. I am also archiving today since I got the message from my beloved Vaio (my  vintage laptop :)) -after ignoring her more than a month- "Operating system not found". I was upset since I did not take the back up of some photos. I thought somebody dropped it when I was away cos' that was likely to be a harddisk error. Anyhow, I found the recovery CD since it did not even start rescue from the keyboard shortcuts and changed the bios settings and yup it was working until it was not. So it was hopeless. I lost all the photos. After couple of more tries, in despair I pressed the turn off button regarding my old friend as a salvage, with my mother on the back ground saying "I did not even touch it, I did not even know it was here... Probably she is only cross with you" etc. I really had an emotional link with my Vaio, recently no one could use it but me since it gone really weird and I had to run everything from the command line.. "Oh my Vaio Vaio" I was thinking. I gave it a one last chance, removed the CD and pressed the turn on... Voila!!! Everything was there, my amazing background with an amazing resolution, my music, my photos... Ah it felt so good. So I am taking the back up of my D drive.. I should use an online solution like Flickr or Picasa for my photos too. Will do it soon when I have more time. 

Vaios are great, the sound the resolution everything about them are amazing. I just love her! Thanks for hanging out buddy. I promise I will take a better care of you from now on..

Listening to the Cure, the soundrack of Closer and Kings of Leon- Milk (for the last one I have been looking for in vain in every online music world).. Feeling like old times... good times...

EDIT: My poor Vaio, after letting me graciously have my back up, it suddenly died... I guess this time irreversible. :(

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Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana

EDIT: A good time to learn about maximizing reverence and minimizing violence is while struggling with a posture like Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Standing Forward Bend). From yogajournel

This pose looks so hard in the beginning but once you get a bit of flexibility it can be done without much effort. The full form can be seen here. My camera does not give me enough time :) I keep feeling/ thinking that my back is straight in forward bendings. But no sir! There is an improvement but my back is still quite curly. Photos teach me...I also like to write Sanskrit names of Asanas. In this way I learn them better..

I ordered two books today. Ashtanga Yoga - The Practice Manual by David Swenson and Everyday Enlightenment by Sally Bongers. Looking forward for their arrival. David Swenson is one of the best instructors for Ashtanga Yoga. Now that I have my goal set for a full primary, I need to get each Asana right and should know the details of the practice. Bongers' book is about enlightenment/ change of ordinary people who stay ordinary after they change too. Love the idea..

Stressful factors are remaining in my life. Just waiting...

Yoga Mat

Me performing urdhva dhanurasana :)

My one and only, new Yoga Mat arrived this afternoon, and I just completed my practice. A loooong and a tiring one. I am quite shaky :) But during the practice I felt so strong and flexible. I even did my least favorite asana parivrtta trikonasana and could get into lotus position when I was doing the shoulder stand, which I could never succeed. 


I liked my mat. It will take some time to adjust I guess. Although it feels like I can slip I do not. I need to build the trust :) I am changing, I can feel it so as my asanas and yoga practice. I hope the change continues. I really like it. 

Fishing

This photo was taken in December, before the New Year’s Eve. These two guys looked really beautiful, in the peaceful gulf. I asked them if I could take a picture of them. They smiled and said " Of course" The Father then said, "Get a better focus of my son, he is really handsome". They were funny :)

And here, after an hour or so, they were visible from the café I was studying at. It's far away from the first point I saw them.

I do not like fishing much, except spear fishing. But they stayed there for hours as I studied. Would not mind being in their place for some time… 

I miss mein Freund. Counting down from 10days :). I am not a great fan of cooking but when I cook with him  it becomes such a pleasure. Aaaah I miss mein Freund. 

From here via Leigh

I consider myself not-oh-so-this-is-so-cute! person. OK, I had a pink phase for a while.. But come on this is just adorable. 


I have been practicing intensely for the last days. My legs are shaky, muscles of shoulders are rebuilding. I am quite tired. Glad tomorrow is full moon- which means a Yoga-Free day.  


Happy during my practices. Did a full primary series yesterday. Added couple of vinyasas between the asanas. But reluctant and lazy today. A short practiced happened... 


We went for a walk in the afternoon. All of us were so lazy. We hardly pulled our selves from all day sat around cuisine and from our cozy warm kitchen. I would have liked to say it energized me, but no :) I am just as lazy as the minute I woke up. But we have this beautiful photo now. Photo credit: My mother.. In it: Me and my sister..

Today

Picture from here

Amazing sports day. I feel good and tired. We woke up early and went to the university for some paper works, registration, paying, receiving :) So anyway we ended up finished with everything and having nothing to do by 10 am. Went to Bebek of course, then had a latte, chilled for a w-h-i-l-e! And finally I made myself go to swimming in the university's pool, after an uphill walk from Bebek to Etiler. There should be a cable car between this line! It would make millions in a year.

Mark Spitz! Hero of the swimming :)

I think Yoga and inhaling exercises somehow improve your performance. I swam front crawl for 10 laps! As I continued after the 5th lap, quite surprised and not breathless, I had no idea that I was destined for 10 laps! :)... It felt really good. I did some warm ups and couple of asanas as well.


Now I will be working on the foreword -finishing touches for real!. I wish I could send it today or tomorrow.

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Image via emmasdesignblogg

Can this be my bedroom?

My late new year resolutions:
1. Create a bedroom like this.
2. Find an apartment and don't move, you can sublet if you like, but don't look for short term arrangements any more.
3. Speak German! Find a tandem, take lectures if you have to!
4. Practice Ashtanga Yoga with a complete primary series including vinyasas!
5.Write the first chapter of your thesis.
6. And of course..Moderation and Grace

11 month- period is enough for all these things. Great!