Meditation and motivation...

I have a weird schedule nowadays. I go to bed around 2 am, read for an hour, wake up at 10, cannot write my paper for the whole day and when I finally admit to myself that I cannot write it, it is about 11 pm at night, then I do mixture of warm ups of shadow yoga and ashtanga series... I never skip meditation in the savasana.. I like the connection I make with my body mentally. My toes, legs, torso... I say hi to my stomach, liver, lungs, heart and my other precious organs and listen to them. I let each of them relax with a deep slow breath. If I am really concentrated I can usually feel a warm ball in my hands. In the end, sometimes, I feel connected to the center of universe from my navel, it feels really peaceful.

But, I cannot write my paper. I am not doing nothing. I try to write, read, think, a little bit every day. I tried many ways to get motivated. Divided time slots and tried to stick to them, let go and relax "when the time comes you can write it" phenomena, OK get stressed some stress is good phase etc. etc. I know that I will write it eventually. But how can I change my attitude for the beginnings? How can I motivate my self to write every peace of it beautifully and make every phase of my writing delightful? Hoping to find a way and open to suggestions..


Photo: Vahni (Sacrificial Flame) and me