New Methods

Everybody has their own ways for each and every path in life. We have to develop methods to survive, to cope, to live. Now I came to a point where I realize I have to change my ways of doing things because they are not working anymore. To find a new method is not a piece of cake. I am sure if I google it I can get a lot of help. Even learning programming which in the past I dreaded so much is now a piece of cake. Well LaTeX is not really programming but still, thanks to google it's so easy to learn and implement it.

I think most of us do not give ourselves enough credit for what we accomplish and for that reason we cannot find enough motivation for the forthcoming projects. Like I said everybody has different methods for different ways in life. For writing a big project what could be done to motivate oneself? I read here that one grad student was allowing herself one square of chocolate for every written paragraph. LOL, the other one just got himself a car since he reduced alcohol consumption! Sounds like a good technique. Do you have any other suggestions?

The photo by Kaan, in Bebek Kitchenette...

not a good day

Walking around Schlachtensee

I feel particularly down today. My bike got broken on my way back and this month I do not have enough money to get it fixed. Bummer... I am mad at couple of people, including quite close ones. I finally got the drive to start my thesis but no body is helping me out... I read many PhD advises yesterday, and one of them is "work in a network". I just have to stop whining and take the lead, make my professor help me. Establish reading groups which share the same interest. I was such a lucky Master student, my second adviser helped me all the time, he was always there motivating. They warned me about this in Germany. You know I am not taking any classes. Here you can start to write your thesis immediately after masters. That's OK, I have a subject and a proposal, but you are so alone...Come on, I NEED and adviser who would motivate me. The things are getting harder the more I postpone dealing with them. My German is not improving fast, and my adviser talks to me in German, which makes everything harder - I thought I would be excelled in German by now, what a goof optimist I am!- I really feel like feeling sorry for my self and cry and cry and cry. 

My sister also did not get better, and the doctor said her situation might remain the same for a long long time. Bummer. I mean today a couple of bugs bit me and I was itching, scratching going crazy and I remembered her... That is what she had been going through for almost a week now. My poor little sister. 

Moreover my back did not let me practice yoga. Today I could have tried, but instead after a tiring and hopeless day, I just got home and curled up next to our cat and slept for 3 hours. Of course I feel more depressed now.

Sorry about this dark post. I feel so dark and everything is getting darker. Maybe I just passed to the dark side. Ouww