Knitting and Lupus

My socks' project

My lovely flat mate got this yarn for me and left it as a present on the kitchen table. She has this amazing socks that she knitted herself and when she told me about this smart yarn that makes its own pattern I was so amazed I kept looking for it but could not find one. I was so happy to get this today! Oh how I needed such a thing. 

My sister's rash did not go away; in fact it is worse. Doctors do not know why. I know Lupus is not the worst disease but I think it's one of the hardest to deal with. She saw two doctors specialized on Lupus and they both are like, yeah get your medicine, deal with the side effects and change your life. I do not know why doctors have to be like that. You know your knowledge does not make you any superior than any human being. I am sorry if you are a doctor and reading this, I know some of you are really nice, the family friend of ours is also great and helping us so much. But -the bad ones I am asking- do you have to be in this mechanistic, non personal, and I cannot deal with you more than five seconds mood all the time. You are not gods, you only studied so many mechanistic procedures and learned to generalize human beings you cannot see the person in front of you. Oh I am so fuuuuuurious. When my sister asked the doctor whether she can only try diet, herbs and yoga he said "no way!". Well before she used the medication she was much better Mr., how about that. I can go on and on about this. I am so mad.  Well I only had one good experience when I was treated in the hospital in recent days. One of the young doctors came in the room, shook my hand, introduced himself, explained my situation and asked me if I had any more question. My mouth dropped open, I was speechless to his kindness and him seeing me as a person. 

You know even in a case such as Lupus where they have no clue, they can behave like oh so mighty we know all about it and we do not care what you think. I am sorry I do not trust this kind of medicine. Especially after studying EBM and learning about frauds of pharmaceuticals. I am not saying we should totally abandon it. No. But there are some cases you can treat with modern medicine and there are some cases you can treat with alternatives. And before modern medicine starts seeing patients as individual human beings I continue not to trust it. Sorry guys, you lost one point today..


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