8/17/09

Where is this negative energy coming?

I have no reason to be upset. But I can feel that I am forced to be upset.....By my hormones....It's PMS. It's so weird how your hormones can get the control. My moon days coincide with the new moon. I do not know if this makes a stronger effect for my hormones.

I had a wonderful weekend. I biked everyday at least for 3 hours. Then I went to the beach in Rodenkirchen, next to Rhine and swim in the Rhine then grilled till midnight with my friends on the beach. It was phenomenal. On Sunday, I met a friend and studied on her garden, ate wonderful freshly cooked plum cake and went to a movie. Today I went to my German course and studied more for 4 hours. So I really should have been happy when I went out of the building. But now, although all the conditions were so arranged to make me at least content, my mind is very busy finding things that can disturb me. I did not want my flatmate to be at home. I did not want to see anyone. I found the kitchen very dirty and was very annoyed with my flatmate. It's just two weeks more. I am usually fine with this. But today, I cannot stand anything. I see my bad sides and everybody's bad sides. Moreover this brings the negative sides of me out and probably when I act upon, it can bring people's ugly sides too. Oh, but what shall I do? Just watchin myself... Me watching me...

I will do yoga in an hour so. Hope it makes me feel better..


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