Paschimottanasana and anger management

When I was an ambitious basketball player,  we used to do  these stretching thingies. One of them, now I know as paschimottanasana, where you try to catch your feet with your hands, was an impossible position for me. I could never get how people could grab their feet so easily.

Over a year now, not that I can only catch them, I can also straighten my back, be comfortable in that position and let my neck relax...

All these years of doing these intense competitive/ team sports I did not even think whether I like them or not. Just couple of years ago I realized that I do not even like basketball. I played 12 years and was quite  good at it. I was quite good at every competitive sport I tried actually...Now I wonder: could that be because I had this built in anger in me? I was the perfect competitor: Ambitious and angry

Now, I can let go off my anger in situations where I want to hold on to it so badly. I used to believe that being angry was giving me strength, power... I do not think that anymore..It worsens the situation and makes one more and more fragile everyday. Although I know that,  letting the anger go is still hard. I had to lock my self in a public toilet today and -weeping -begged for it to leave me alone ..

I believe that our emotions and asanas in Yoga revolve around each other and help themselves in turns. The more I let go off the anger the easier I can straighten my back and my head gets closer to my feet. The more I get closer to my feet the easier I let go off the anger...

It's more then "letting", you have to work hard for it to go away. I am  hoping that one day it will be quite natural for it to leave me just sooner...

Namaste...