The first day in a Yoga Class

Photo is from Shadow Yoga website.

Today, I went to my first yoga class in Cihangir Yoga.

I had so much in my mind this morning when I was on my way to the course and I went completely to another direction. I looked at the address from the internet yesterday evening, and when I called Kaan after realizing that I was almost in Karakoy, I knew the directions he was telling me. I remember them, but somehow, my mind made me forget them.

Although I wanted to attend the course for weeks, I was not even sure if I should go to the course or not until the last moment this morning. This is so typical of me.

Eventually I was ten minutes late.

I haven't been to the place before. But I am always a bit suspicious towards spiritual people. There could be a lot of pretencious behaviour (or so I think), which effects me in the way opposite direction. As a result I behave differently in order  not to be pretencious. Oh boy, my life is hard. And I am spiritual in a way anyway!

I am not a social person (or so I say). Well I can be social when I want to, but this is not being social. So anyway first in every meeting is hard for me. I also want to be alone whenever I want, consequently I pick my friends and I have a feeling that they pick me quite carefully. They should understand this. My alone moments are important for me. And I need them in order to feel sane.

This morning was socially hard. I tried to focus anyway, and liked the course.

I used to be a regular social drinker. And used the booze to ease the tension in the social meetings. I am learning to socialize without the booze.Changing behaviors and habits are hard. Today with a lot of social boundaries in my mind, I did not say to my self, you should do this and that, I just observed the panicky me and kept repeating that when the time comes for thinking you can.

The course reminded me of Tai Chi. I tried to internalize the names and the moves. There is not much information on the internet about the details of the preludes. I should concentrate better. Before the sunset I will practice them again.

My sister is on her way  to meet me.

Today I should finish one paper proposal and work on foreword a bit more..

Our online business also taking a lot time of mine.

In any case, I am loving the day...

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