World of Oz

Lately

2012-02-08T09:26:00.000+01:00

Top photo: the thesis study and the real life :)

Bottom photo: Playing table tennis at home :)

It's intense study time... Need patience and perseverance... I hope I have enough...

2012-01-27T11:34:00.000+01:00

My mantras should be "ears away from the shoulders", "breath into your chest", "engage the inner belly muscles", "in modifications visualize the full pose, go towards it"... I had a beautiful 2 hours practice in the sun yesterday morning. It was like a play ground...

Photos: Me in bakasana and hand stand.. The bed yesterday morning, with the beautiful sun...

2012-01-26T11:33:00.000+01:00

For some people this pose, Marichyasana c, is very hard. But since I have longer arms relative to my body it's so easy for me. I could do it after one month of practicing Ashtanga. What is challenging for me is forward bends. I have very short and strong hamstrings due to my earlier sport history (basketball, snowboarding). And stretching hamstrings is painful and difficult for me, and even my back gets tense when I do forward bends.

Today, the day has started slowly in terms of studying and yoga. I still haven't practiced and I still haven't added any words to my thesis. But today is my - I do not have to go out- day. So no hurry. And there is Sun! Oh I woke up and saw the Sun! I opened my window, to a very cold weather and closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face despite the -3 C.

OK hoping for a prolific day for my self. The planning for me...

Today so far: vacuumed the house, the laundry is being done by the machines :)

Today plan: additional slides for the talk, yoga, out for 1, 5 hour, thesis section 1.1 finish

Today's motto: what will you do in next 5 minutes? : 6 Sun Salutations then onward!

Have a lovely Thursday, and here are some photos from sunny Berlin..

Warschauer Strasse U- Bahn on a sunny day. (From two weeks ago Sunday)

The sun in the bedroom (From this morning)

Grunewald, (from February 2010) during a walk I took in the forest.. The sun is almost setting...

2012-01-25T09:39:00.001+01:00

Yesterday's 5 hour bike ride... It only consisted of 20 minutes of suburbia biking, most of it was in the city. Oh, well, finally something to combat the winter blues. My yoga is not enough for conquering the feeling of not seeing the sun for many many weeks. In this last week the I and the sun made a contact in total for 10 seconds maybe. I know this is hard to understand for north Europeans, but people who grew up in sunny climates get seriously depressed in this kinda winters. The last two winters were so sunny and snowy in Berlin, I only remember them as so much fun. This winter: no snow, no sun, no fun. Sigh...

So, I decided to use the bike, to go everywhere. The city's weather is not so clean but it's OK. Yesterday, I had to go to the library to return and borrow some books, so in total 40 kilometers I biked. I was frozen and so tired, I had to stay under the very warm water for a long time :) And ate this huge meal! I finished it all! Salad with broccoli, eggs with cheese and toasted bread with cheese and tomato paste. Then went out with a friend and got drunk with non-alcoholic beers :) That was really funny. I had the best sleep of the last two years I think.

Now I have to start writing some additions to my thesis. I am having difficulty with starting nowadays. I read somewhere that, the difficulty with starting is not the lack of motivation but the ability to turn off thinking and just do what you have to do. I realize this so much in my yoga practice. I catch my self bargaining with myself for the next asanas: " oh you can skip this one, you will do this one tomorrow, maybe you should do today for one hour..." on and on and on. It's the same with writing academic stuff. I just need to learn to turn off the bargain-thinking :) Working on that..

Photo: The bike- road to the university, the dinner, me -swollen-face because of biking in the cold weather for hours...

2012-01-23T14:51:00.003+01:00

Urdhva Muhka Svanasana and the lunch: tomato paste, cheese, pastry and pear :)

For the asana, my shoulders should be a bit more towards my feet and downwards.

For the food, I am alone this week at home, so no cooking :) Going raw, yumm. Except maybe for a broccoli-noodle soup.

I started the primary Gildoff style (below) - saw it at Ursula's blog. I always felt uncomfortable at Utthitta Hasta Padangustasana, and now I learned that it was added after the whole primary series were practiced. My back sometimes hurts and there are so many interesting asanas towards the end; and there is a version of Utthitta Hasta Padangustasana while lying (Supta Padangusthasana)... I feel better to skip the last two standing asanas. I am not skipping the rotating asanas, I have been doing them for a long time and I do not feel weird when doing them now. But Utthitta Hasta Padangustasana, good bye for now, maybe see you in couple of weeks. I love the last asanas, especially I love dropping from Supta Konasana. It's so much fun! It's amazing that you do not hit the heels when you let yourself go. This is a play with the fear :) And Vinyasas are not forced in between each asana. I like that as well. Since I am starting after a long break of thesis writing and stressful times, that is just an awesome series for me. I do each asana in finishing. No removing asanas from it.

I am the queen of procrastination today. This is changing though.. Changing..

Ashtanga yoga how it was taught in the old days to Nancy Gilgof and David Williams

STANDING

Three each of Surya Namaskara A and B,

Standing postures through to Parsvottanasana,

Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana etc. and Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (added after learning all primary).

(Utkatasana and Virabhadrasana added in 1980s).

SEATED

Jump through to Dandasana.

Paschimottanasana

Purvottanasana

Vinyasa (?)

Ardha baddha padma Paschimottanasana ( No vinyasa between sides).

Vinyasa (?)

Tireng Mukkha Eka pada Paschimottanasana (No vinyasa between sides).

Vinyasa (?)

Janu Sirsasana A, B, and C (Done together, no vinyasa between sides or variations right side, left side of A, right, left of B, right, left of C).

Vinyasa

Marichyasana A, B, C, and D (done together no vinyasas between sides or variations).

Vinyasa

Navasana x 3

Vinyasa

Bhuja pindasana

Vinyasa (?)

Kurmasana

Supta kurmasana

vinyasa (?)

garbha pindasana

Kukkutasana

Vinyasa (?)

Baddha Konasana, Upavishta Konasana, and Supta Konasana (No vinyasas between sides).

Vinyasa

Supta hasta pasdangustasana

Supta parsvasahita

chakrasana

Ubhaya Padangusthasana and Urdhva Mukha

Paschimottanasana (done together, simply change the hand position).

Setu Bandhasana,

2012-01-22T20:42:00.000+01:00

New things at home and an excursion to Potsdam. Potsdam is 30 minutes train ride away from Berlin. A very nice, historical and clean town.

It's Sunday, I need to water my plants.. Get ready for the busy and heavy load week.

The lack of sun is becoming unbearable here. No snow, no sun... I will remember this winter as a quite grey one...

Have a great and sunny week everyone..

2012-01-17T10:03:00.001+01:00

This hotel; it amuses me :)

It's been more than a month since my last post. Life gets hectic and uncontrollable over here and over there from time to time. I have been travelling, giving talks, finishing my dissertation-still, dealing with bureaucracy, getting organized..

Started a German course, our teacher is this amazing oldish lady from Berlin who looks so young and as a fairy tale character with lots of energy. She is certainly an inspiration.

Did an hour of yoga practice in the morning. Now ready for some dissertation work and German tandem later.

2011-12-15T11:50:00.000+01:00

I have been busy, finishing the thesis, finishing the preparation of the talks...

I managed to go to one xmas market for 10 minutes.

Went in, had my Glühwein, took some photos and ran for the colloquium.

These are my days nowadays.

I wish it would snow...

Then at least I would feel as if in holidays..

Did 5 Surya Namaskar A and 5 B..

3 standing poses, I add sit ups since there is no lower abdomen work in primary series.

Then two finishing poses and Savasana.

That shall be enough for today...

Now 3 hours for slide preparation,

1 hour for reading colloquium paper

1 hour for cleaning and cooking

Then off to the colloquium.

Happy Holidays..

2011-11-23T22:33:00.000+01:00

So really, what is it to see the alternate angles in Euclid's Prop. I. 36

2011-11-18T12:52:00.002+01:00

My walk couple of weeks ago in the Tempelhof Park.

It was so beautiful there, with Kiteskates, model planes, and with the landscape

I only participated in landscape viewing and walking through part :)

2011-11-16T14:43:00.002+01:00

My first, totally unsupervised -if you do not count youtube- cardigan project is completed.

This is also my first top down knitting project and I just had real fun.

I have never liked to produce separate pieces and join them later.

Especially I would not like it for a cardigan with stripes.

I ran out of brown wool. Hence the short sleeves :)

I think I might need to re-sew the zipper too.

But anywhoo, I am glad I completed at least one thing..

-the dark mood is on for the thesis :(-

2011-11-10T14:43:00.001+01:00

The investigation :)

My thesis on the wall

2011-11-06T18:54:00.000+01:00

The progress in the cardigan project....

2011-11-03T12:55:00.000+01:00

Tempelhof Park

I do not have anytime today to practice or run. So I will just walk till the Tempelhof S Bahn through the park, then to the library, then to the colloquium. By the time I got home it will be earliest 10 pm.

So today's sport is walking.. It's 2 U-Bahn and 1 S-Bahn stops but it's a gorgeous walk for 40 minutes through the old airport. Calms the nerves and refreshes the mind; gives a lot of space to think. It's amazing; if your eyes are not busy peeking at stuff the sensation that comes to the body is so relaxing.

..and the sun is awesomely shining.. :)

2011-11-02T19:46:00.000+01:00

The weekend lunch, broccoli-noodle-carrot soup with salad...

The speed of the thesis is not satisfactory, it's as if my brain slowed down...

Überstressed :) >punkt<

2011-10-30T13:16:00.000+01:00

Recycling...

2011-10-28T19:41:00.000+02:00

My famous Doktorandenwagen and the shelves filled with interpretations and works of Kant...

In the Philologische Library, FU.

2011-10-26T16:44:00.001+02:00

That's kinda my thesis on the board. It made me laugh to look at the picture. If your job is to think about thinking you get obsessed with tiny weird stuff... I need perspective, a quite distant perspective.. Hmpff. No round squares, no...

2011-10-25T11:17:00.002+02:00

Is it a HB101, Human Being Prerequisite 101? Fighting, hurting, having the power... It's either between the countries, or within the country between the "others". Are we searching other life forms in the universe to fight more? Why do we need to label people as "others". Which side does it satisfy in the human nature? It seems to me that we feel better to be part of a collective anger or collective pain than to deal with our everyday issues...

All I know is that anger detaches you from your personality, and I cannot imagine how you can handle this anger if your loved ones are hurt by others... But then is the solution to hurt more?

If you ever watched Battle Star, maybe you remember Saul, the colonel -if you have not watched it till the end careful! spoiler alert- . He was the one who hated the Cylons most, and fought to dry up their lineage. And then he found out that he was a Cylon, and worse: the creator of Cylons as well. My point is, how can you know for sure that you are not the one you hate? Even Hitler was suspected to have a Jewish lineage!

In my country sad sad things are happening right now. The killings, the earth quakes. Some people are labeling some people as others. Kurdish people are being others, and how do people know they are not Kurdish in my country is a mystery. It's such a mixed genealogy, it always amazes me that people in Turkey can be racist at all, but that does not stop people to blame whole a lot people just because they think they are born into a lineage that does not belong to the Turkish one, whatever that is...

Staying calm, during panic times and not make big decisions are the best thing we can do, both in personal and social level. Then we learn to take precautions, then we learn about development, then we learn to learn....

And anyway, that was my weekend, the photos, sick but sunny...

2011-10-18T10:31:00.000+02:00

Sunday flee-market treasures- the last one is not so pretty but highly functional... I have a cold, and want to be cranky, complaining, blaming all the time.. It seems like that became my general mood for the last couple of weeks. Need to stop being a control freak for a change.. It just creeps in when you are not watching... It is so much easier to fall back to old routines than adopting to new ones...

2011-10-13T17:58:00.001+02:00

The photo represents what I have been doing on my desk today.. Nothing.. Today was no writing a thesis day. I reviewed some parts, changed my profile picture twice in facebook -now it's a misery bear who cannot write a book-, did some yoga -more restoratives again- and added some more ideas on History of Analytic and Synthetic. 50 words. 50 words!!! My daily goal is 800 words. I have such a block today. I feel so tired..Today is supposed to be a library day too, well today turned out to be a real failure day. I will try a little bit harder then be a good carnivore -hey I need iron- and go to this paleolithic-bio restaurant. Really curious about this caveman cooking.

2011-10-12T17:10:00.001+02:00

Finally I could practice some yoga. I know it's full moon, but I did it really gently with adding some restoratives and some back supporting exercises from Pilates. Well it feels good after more than a week of a back ache and stress. Today is stay home and study day, then evening is for meeting my first flatmate in Berlin. We are drinking wines in Kreuzberg. I missed being out in the city. Well I am out in the weekends definitely, but still, somehow I missed being out, meeting friends.. Getting adjusted is hard, and stressful at times. Hopefully the routine will show herself up soon. Looking forward to it.

Thesis Writing

2011-10-11T23:28:00.000+02:00

Thesis writing is not only about studying hard, it's also about finding strategies to keep you on going. The first decision: Remove every unnecessary event and object and plan from your life that stresses you out... And include stress relief thingies... Good luck..

Weekend Love

2011-10-10T10:36:00.000+02:00

My recent joy, the pink orchids; cooking pizza, visiting the pumpkin festival in Schoeneberg accidentally- was real fun-, and getting a flat tire.. Now the study week started with all resistance...

Gluten free bread baking

2011-10-07T22:08:00.000+02:00

Bread making... Since I have been mostly at home and trying to finish this complicated and never ending chapter, I made reasons to get away from the table as often as I could. And, sinceI have this constant, damn back ache (the beginning of an intense thesis writing period= stress= back ache for me) I try to spend my procrastination period off the table.. Well, I liked the result, and it's even glutenfrei!

Thesis and all its friends

2011-09-28T18:37:00.000+02:00

Here is my new space for my thesis writing. I always dreamed of a self-made blackboard and here it is.

Now that I do not have all the time in the world, I want to shorten my yoga practices and I do not want to do only the poses in the beginning, so I decided today on a strategy. I will do the one third of the each sequence everyday -no skipping sun salutations or vinyasas! So today it was till Parivritta Trikonasana for the standing poses, Dandasana, Paschimottasana, Purvattasana, then jump to the Navasana, and all till the end - Setu Bandhasana except Kurmasana. Kurmasana and Bhijupadasana together are too much for me anyway. In the finishing poses I skipped shoulder stands and fish pose, then did all to the end. So tomorrow the standing poses will start from Uttihita Parsvakonasana till and including Utthita Hasta Padangustasana. And the primary series will have all the half bounds and marichayasanas. Then Kurmasana instead of Bhijupadasana. And I will not do headstands on the day of shoulderstands. That should motivate me a bit more, because if I practice the whole series it takes 2,5 hours and it's too much for me. Maybe I can attempt to do it all once a week. Let's see how this will go...

Ugh back to studying now, too much to do...

2011-08-31T20:27:00.000+02:00

Cooking zucchini in Aegean way..

The intensive training and intensive summer is over, and officially the summer has departed Berlin... It is 13 degrees! I just want to curl under a blanket, drink my yogi tee and knit... After some time of relaxation I need to be finishing my PhD thesis till February, ugh it's a bit scary, but I am just going to concentrate on resting my mind without worry attacks :)

Have a good, relaxing September everyone..

2011-08-25T13:28:00.005+02:00

It's been a long long time. There was a huge writer's block. After I got back from Izmir, it's been a roller coaster. I reviewed my first chapter and divided it into two and did some work on the second chapter- some technical game theoretical interpretation- it was so slow, so so slow, but I had to go slow.

Then before I could get to write my own interpretation the yoga intensive teacher training month started. It's really great but it's also killing me. 7 hours a day yoga, including lot's of meditation, pranayama, and ashtanga principles could be overwhelming.

You know in Turkey, the male population has to go to the army- no choice sorry! Well mine is much easier than the army service since I do not have the risk of being killed and it's much shorter (yes you can get killed in Turkey while you are doing army service since we are in an unspoken, stupid civil war).

So I am considering this as my army service and try not to question it. Because with that kinda tired mind I can find so many reasons to ditch the training -did I tell you that I have to get up everyday at 6?-..

OK enough with the complaining...It's such a summery day here which was so rare this summer in Berlin, and I get to write my post, and I will go and buy some yarn for my scarf.. Oh yesterday I was knitting it next to the swimming pool, and a young woman was laughing and telling me it would make such a cool photo that I am knitting a scarf next to a pool, but then it got cloudy and cold before we get to chance to make a photo.. Well the weather like this makes us appreciate every moment the sun comes up...

Oh and the photo, remember these series? This is the hostel in the street where I used to live... They change the writing on the door periodically and I love it!

Have a beautiful weekend everyone...

2011-06-06T14:17:00.003+02:00

I finished my paper that will be a basis for my talk just half an hour ago. I feel quite empty, yes not happy but empty. This researcher business is a tricky business. Anyway, I still need to prepare the presentation for it. But I will rest for the rest of the today I guess. It was almost non-stop studying the whole weekend, however I had some fun too. Cold beers next to seaside, watching my father work in the garden, eating fresh fruits from the trees, my mother's beautiful flowers, my sister arrival, tea time in the garden. I cannot complain really...

Well there are some tricky work laying ahead though, formatting my computer, calling the library since the online extending does not work and explaining them in German, that I am here and they are in Berlin and please please please extend my book till I get back.. Ugh..

Have a nice week!

2011-06-03T21:15:00.001+02:00

Shadow of Utthita Parshvasahita from today's practice in my parents living room

Since I am in Izmir, and since I am not skipping any vinyasa till navasana, I sweat like ... well there are no words for it, but drips are coming from everywhere during the practice. My practices are beautiful nowadays, I do them around 7 pm, when sun starts to set and when I cannot study further. This empties my mind and I can go back to study for about one more hour.

I am working on the vinyasas and jumping back and through. Ugh so hard, so so hard, the other day, I was trying to jump back from a sitting pose, suddenly tears came out of my eyes, I mean I was really crying as if somebody pushed a button. It took 10 seconds and I was so surprised cos' it happened so suddenly and I was not even emotional.

My paper is coming out alright, I would like to be more focused and have people around to discuss the project but I lack the latter luxury for more than a year now.. Maybe I should blog my research..Everyday... Why not? Something to think about.

Have a lovely weekend, mine is gonna be most probably a full time study weekend... It's OK, most of the time I luuvvv studying..

2011-06-01T21:41:00.000+02:00

Utthita Trikonasana

Today's practice was so great I could have no idea that it was new moon, which means I was not supposed practice at all.. I remembered that just couple of hours ago.Well anyway at least no back pains etc. Last time when I practiced in full moon with my moon days on, I hurt my back! So I am kinda scared not to follow the rules.

I am studying during the day. My soul arrived here two days after 3000 km travelling (well it took 3 hours by plane) and me not wanting to travel at all this time. Guess loosing my vagabond soul. But today I am feeling like myself finally -well myself in a transition way anyway---

So anywhoo, I am supposed to finish preparing my talk in couple of days. I really want to give this talk, really do, hope the presentation will be great cos' it's really the core topics that I've been working...New Approaches to the Kantian Intuitions of Mathematical Objects , yup that's what the talk is about... Wish me luck..

2011-05-25T19:46:00.000+02:00

via here

Yesterday morning, I woke up without an alarm clock at 7 am and practiced to Sharath's Yoga Video. It's quite fast, but it's almost my pace when I practice at home, so, for now, it will be perfect. I am so out of shape and have been skipping many asanas for the last month -moving, back aches, dissertation chapter deadlines, I can count more excuses-- but my legs are terribly sore after yesterday's practice .. And I went to bed at 10:30 yesterday night since I could not stay awake -which by the way never happens to me at night!- I was happy -thinking "yup I will wake up at 7 by myself and practice". But no sir, I slept 12 hours!! 12 hours! I do not know if it was the German CV I was preparing yesterday which took me 5 hours only for having the first draft (!), or my fast and intense practice for an hour which led by Sharath; but I felt so tired this morning. And now all I want to do is leave the library and go home and practice. I guess that's what I will do now and read the Colloquium's paper tomorrow.. I should write about the paper I read recently too, I did not get to that.. Tomorrow: Colloquium's paper, Sutherland's paper commentary, early Yoga practice..

I love in the picture how kids stop the cars..

2011-05-23T20:55:00.000+02:00

In my dream I was dropping back to urdhva dhanurasana... So effortlessly, so comfortably... I did not even come close to try it from the standing position yet. But I was so happy! Well I am also happy in real life that I could practice for the last two days -yet moderately as much as my back allows, there is still a little pain.

The picture was taken yesterday in Boxhagener Platz Flohmarkt, where I got a beautiful dress for 2 euros, the dress I am wearing as I type these words. It was a great Sunday with great coffees, conversations, hefeweizens and with the rain after the heat... Did I ever mention that I love Berlin? :)

And my camera is so close to being a trash, although I kinda like the effects in some photos that it's making uncontrollably...

These are my last moments today in the library. Finally finished the piece I have been dragging around for a w-h-i-l-e now.. Tomorrow I need to write about it before the ideas start to run away from my head...

2011-05-20T12:32:00.003+02:00

via here

Haste… What is it and what causes it? Never ending rush … Worrying too much… Thinking that multitasking is good…. Craving approval and taking too much responsibility. .. Or just wanting to get to the result, to the end of the book, to care about not “how” things are happening but “what “ happens in the end… Or thinking: OK this is the last errand I will take care of before getting to the main job… And the main thing is still there after several days waiting for you to deal with it.

With the speed of twitter, facebook, emails, haste is controlling our lives. Texting immediately with shortened words, sending birthday messages without even trying to remember them anymore (FB reminds them to us anyway), ordering from Amazon and getting it in your Kindle in 3 seconds; we cannot lead a slow pace life yet we do not conquer more goals despite the speedy “hasty” pace.

Haste is a disease that makes us live our lives tangentially; we are so close to do the real thing we want to do but we can only touch it at one point from time to time.

Haste… how to conquer it? Or how to be friends with it maybe? Still do not know.

And now for something completely different… "To connect we just have to be vulnerable": watch here. It left my eyes misty, such a good one...

And for something totally different, I hate technological things being so slow in Europe. We had an appointment for connecting our phone line for the internet three weeks after application and they did not even show up on the day... So no internet still... I am mad and come on..... this is 21st century! And my back hurts could not practice yoga for ages and this is a vicious circle, no yoga ->back ache, back ache-> no yoga.

I miss my yoga practices and thinking and writing about them, it's such a different mood. And today it's a big come back for the dissertation. I have been in the library since morning. And aiming to finish one of the readings I have been carrying for so long..

Have good weekend! Oz

2011-05-17T12:52:00.002+02:00

via here

I adore these people who have an eye for the details, who prepares an excellent sandwich to her/ himself and takes a look at it with joy before eating. Joy of pause and realizing the joy in the moment. I have been in such a haste for days, months and years. It comes and goes, and I did not have the courage to admit myself that it's been going on for so long... I keep blaming moving, travelling, breaking ups, falling in loves, PMS, period cramps, having allergies, the illness of my loved ones. And I somehow find my self not in the life but in some periphery of it. If the details were essential to me, if I wanted to pause and savor the moments of life I would not have chosen that nomadic, academic, fast track, almost non personal life style. I always say that but the moment I buy something for my room, house, even a cloth, I know that I cannot keep it for long. I always eat so fast, and enjoy eating fast a lot. I mostly eat half of the meal while cooking. Nevertheless I start to adore people who are just the opposite of all these. Who can spend hours while choosing a yarn for their little hat that they are going to knit for the first time, who can surf many web pages for their delicious organic salad they had been craving for a while. These people, whatever they do, they create beauty in it... You can see their love for the details and life and work.

I would love to love details... And savor, and pause. I would love to love to pause.

More on this coming in the next post....

Have a lovely week, Oz

2011-04-25T20:07:00.001+02:00

Before the afternoon I wrote about space and time and my college adviser was in my head telling me, how did you arrive at this conclusion, why did you use 'thus' here, you could elaborate this quotation...

In the afternoon, I practiced till bakasana. With my ashtanga yoga teachers in my head telling me, move the left kidney forward, push your legs towards the ground, breath out slowly and fully.

Once you get the voices in your head (well not that voices), I think, until the next level you can have your own controlled practice (Because also as my college adviser said once: Not practice, controlled practice makes perfect).

I was a bit sad that I quit studio practices since I was improving really fast. But then now I am getting better instead on the self practice, observing myself, self discipline. I am slowing down on the physical side but learning much more about the other aspects of the yoga..

Instead of focusing how long my practice took and how many asanas I was doing, I focused on each asana, and explored the details. And as a result my practice had a better flow than previous ones.

Now have to resume studying. Nowadays, I do creative writing without any editing in the mornings, reading in the middle and then editing as the last thing. It will get better.. If you do it everyday, you get better at doing it everyday :)

Have a nice week..

2011-04-20T14:39:00.003+02:00

an order just for me..via here: some people can be obsessively tidy, by some people

I mean me I guess, especially under stress, can color coordinate my books, folders,

clothes etc.. no not that bad... well sometimes maybe that bad..

and a quota I needed desperately today:

"we show up, burn brightly, live passionately, hold nothing back, and when the

moment is over, when our work is done, we step back and let go." - rolf gates .

.via here

feeling extremely non-productive and an outsider, I hate the fact that my German is

still not fluent to carry on a lively conversation with the academia here..

after a year I am still not fluent, that just makes me extremely down.. and I am still

struggling with the same parts in my thesis, and this is depressing, reaaaally depressing...

also extended the wrong books and now have to go and pay

a fine in the library, today is really hurting...and my allergies are back...

2011-04-19T12:03:00.000+02:00

My practices are now about 40 minutes with the finishing. I did not practice the whole weekend..(Well then I found out Sunday was full moon anyway :)) I skip two standing asanas every time and practice only up to navasana plus bakasana. Everyday I say to myself, OK I will do a full series, at least up to bakasana. But I feel so tired nowadays. I gained two kilos, which is OK, but do not want to gain more. Plus I might have lost some muscles.. Well anywhoo... I am hoping for some progress in my yoga practices. I do not know what I can do, but I am just hoping for now...

My dissertation's progress is quite slow and I keep reading stuff to motivate myself. And keep telling myself that unless I do not stop it's still OK. Yesterday I read about Kaizen's method, but I do everything that can be utilized according to this method. My most inspiring blog collection for writing a dissertation "To Do: Dissertation" did not post anything, now for more than one week. And usually there is quite stuff . Well anywhoo, hope goes for the dissertation too. Just feeling extremely tired. Sigh..

Picture was taken this Sunday in old Tempelhof Airport, now the Tempelhof Park. Missing the weekend..

2011-04-08T20:06:00.002+02:00

It's getting more orange in my room. It's not even my favorite color, but I only had orange yarn for my new project: a circular scarf... It's just for playing, but I ordered two knitting patterns today, will show them soon. I am quite excited about them.

Yesterday was no yoga day, cos' I thought I was going for a swim, but the opening hours was changed just for that day :( So my muscles were like a stone today. I should not skip a day without exercise, cos' this writing a dissertation business is taking over my shoulders and neck. In the practice today, around my spine there were a lot of noises. Good noises. Yoga is the best massage and it's free. I skipped all the vinyasas, but still it was a satisfactory practice...

I am done with the reading part of the coming section. I think... If I am not to read another paper, I hope not.. Now I must make myself write for two hours... Sigh... I hope will do...

2011-04-06T20:55:00.000+02:00

Nowadays it's only yoga or writing my thesis. Last two weeks yogawise were horrible, I could only practice 30 minutes in a day when I can. And this reflected to my long practices yesterday and today. My upper back leg muscles are suffering. My muscles tend to shorten in such a short time. It's unbelievable. However the improvement in parivritta parshvakonasana (revolved side angle pose- see picture) is making me content. Getting the help from legs is important; you use your legs, pushing them towards the ground and at the same time towards each other. This helps you to rotate. There is no work for the spine, the spine simply follows the movement. When done right it's very relaxing for my poor aching back -sitting in front of a computer with a deadline is a quite stressful thing- and the neck is long towards the raised hand. When you start the pose, you always look at the ground when turning which makes the pose harder. When G told me look up not down, trusting my balance was at stake and it took a while until I could do it.

I needed to be closer to the ground. The pictures help me to see what I am really doing. In my mind all poses look so different than the pictures. I cannot believe how much orange and pink exist in the picture :)

I am handing in my first chapter in 9 days. I found out about a method called "pomodoro". It's for time management. You use a digital counter designed for that purpose and do nothing but what you have to do in 25 minutes then take a short break for 5 minutes. The details are here. The counter is running as I am writing these words. I have only 25 minutes to finish this blog post.

It's funny, today I wrote about the concept of triangle in my thesis. And now writing about a triangle in the primary series. Just funny..

this feelin'

2011-03-16T20:24:00.002+01:00

Ach... Wanna have this feeling... of these flowers, of this photo, of this street, of this lavender smell, of this small shop, of this spring weather, of riding this bike... via

6.5th hour in the library.. Sigh..

just the beginning?

2011-03-15T12:29:00.000+01:00

image via

I keep reading quotes, funny ones, inspiring ones, quite useless ones, but I am enjoying them all the same. Here goes the today's favorite:

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” Orson Welles

Witty ;)

This morning I had to leave home without any practice. I hope I will find some time in the afternoon, after a productive day in the library! Some of the not favorite asanas are becoming my favorites since I now learn how to approach them: Using the negative forces in the legs, to relax but to be in the control of each muscle and engage them at the same time. A smile always helps...

Lately

2011-03-14T09:31:00.000+01:00

I have been up since 6 a.m. and trying to motivate myself to finish my yoga practice before I leave home for the library. Nope, nothing. But will do...

Sorry the posting had been quite sporadic, as is my life and sticking on decisions..

And sorry about what's been happening in the world, the uprisings, the natural disasters.. Having lived through couple of big earth quakes, I know the feeling of the immense helplessness. I hate earth quakes, and it always calms me down to look at beautifully designed houses... So here I am, trying to motivate my self for my yoga practice and looking at a beautifully designed ikea room..

image via here

Developments

2011-02-11T16:38:00.001+01:00

Matsyasana, lotus fish pose

The order comes and goes, which is not very orderly but I am approaching to it, I know. I finally set time limits with my professors so that I can have less time which means more concentration. You know Newton's second law of graduation F=ma "The age, a, of a doctoral process is directly proportional to the flexibility, f, given by the advisor and inversely proportional to the student's motivation m. So, I set up a quite tight schedule.

My yoga practice yesterday was beautiful. Slow, long, exploring each asana and with new accomplishments.Now gotta finish reading a paper and some parts of a German text which is taking ages.

And here are some remarks on what I have been studying recently: Kant's Philosophy of Mathematics

Order

2011-02-02T18:58:00.001+01:00

I am finally the me who I wanted to be. It's been crazy during and after the holiday times. A lot of new situations that I needed to get adjusted. But finally my soul felt like it was the normal life again.

During my practice today, there was a perfect flux. Did not even think of the next asana, did not think about the time, did not criticize any pose. When I was doing forward bending poses I felt me the more and backward bends the surroundings. I never had such a beautiful practice before. A offered me great tips in some asanas. I love the way the muscles learn to behave differently in these practices. Every muscle you use become individually analyzed. Rotating, flexing, stretching, imagining are all part of the process...

For those who come here to read a bit of logic and philosophy, my logic blog will be up and running soon again with the review of the interesting readings that I am doing currently for my thesis. I would love to get feedbacks from you!

Have a lovely week...

Yoga and Life 4

2010-12-14T20:00:00.003+01:00

There are some moods you want to be in forever. When you are feeling loved and in love, when feeling great in the nature, when you are with your favorite family members or with your favorite friends, you are in it. In a beautiful mood/ world/ feeling that you just wanna pack it up in your luggage and carry with you everywhere.

Yoga is like that. It's a practice alright. But it's a mood. When you start your practice it's a totally different world where you can feel every inch of your body, listen to your breath, get rooted to the earth.. And it's a lucky thing it kinda only depends on you.. There are more home practices nowadays and it's different than studio ones. Each kind is different. In the latter you are more motivated but also more aware of the surroundings, other yogis and yoginis, your yoga teacher coming and giving adjustments. When you are at home it's only you, your breath and you are your own lead. Beautiful..

It's almost holidays..Still feeling tired but loving the new yoga mat... And me need to work, work, work, till Saturday..

Weekend Love

2010-12-14T00:49:00.002+01:00

We are so lucky, almost every weekend we have close friends visiting us. But that makes weekends real tough and me need another weekend to rest, sleep, to be a normal human being again. Well I am off to Izmir next weekend for the Xmas break. Do not wanna leave my beautiful city but missed the family, the home town and my mom's dishes horribly.. Although friends cook here incredible Turkish dishes - as today thank you thank you thank you T- my mom's dishes are the best :)

and then we saw the aliens

2010-12-08T20:09:00.000+01:00

When I wake up it's dark dark dark, and some people wished it was still dark when they woke up this morning. :) sorry mate :)

First there was the snowball fight -finally!- and then we saw the aliens... aliens right next to the Berlin wall IN the Gorlitzer park :)

-careful this text includes *some* fake information :) -

Weekend Love

2010-12-06T15:52:00.000+01:00

I love Friedrichshain, look how the sun smiles at it.. The days are slowing down, finally. The weekend was long and had very different parts, which felt like it lasted for a week. The delicious Turkish food cooked by E (she is an amazing cook! thank you thank you thank you :)) Good music, great pubs, bars, studying, going to the movies, flee market, trying to reach the lake for rowing for hours in vain, but S bahns, poor S bahns, the snow came for them too early and it was impossible to travel with them uninterrupted. In the end no lake no rowing.. Ah my kindle, my kindle... it is not romantic but very practical.. Trying to getting used to it.. And my new addiction in Last Fm, the Boards of Canada and Polygon Window make studying just much more easier and fun...And looking for sleds, for fun sleds.. In the mean time wishing you a very happy week!

Hasty

2010-12-04T13:43:00.000+01:00

I bumped my head coming out of this pose, Bhujapidasana B. The key to come out of it to use the last bit of exhale and the gap between the exhale and inhale to get the power from your bandhas, I was thinking too much and I was hasty and I bumped my head so hard. Which felt like a warning. I hadn't been hasty for a while. Do you know how it is like living your life from the stomach..? Physically and emotionally.. Too much thinking is not good, so living from the stomach could be a good choice. Anyway, I bumped my head.. And I keep dropping things, feeling hasty, there are times I am about to fall so much.. So the brain needs some holidays... If it's not for work, - well I earn my money from thinking-, thinking too much is not so good. I do not want to bump my head again, so hello stomach, can we get friendly again and give the brain a bit of vacation?

White Berlin

2010-12-02T16:50:00.000+01:00

Bio market has 10 percent discount for students on Thursdays. Woaah :) Anyway it's just a little push to shop more on Thursdays and I guess I would not go out of my house today if it was not for shopping. And they have my favorite chocolate, my favorite cookies, my favorite teas... And it was quite hard to reach to the trash cans... And look at my poor poor bike..

Umm just a little bit cold

2010-12-01T11:49:00.000+01:00

Hiloooo, it's the snowman talking. On the way to yoga my eyelashes were frozen in like 15 seconds. I hate to complain about cold, and about my favorite city in the whole world. So I am saying no-no-no-nothing.

The Parivrtta Trikonasana (Revolved Triangle Pose) and Parivrtta Parsvakonasana (Revolved Side Angle Pose) were not so difficult today. Ah my yoga place (ashtanga yoga berlin) is just amazing. It's the coziest yoga place I have ever been to. And every teacher is just amazing and I think part of the coziness is created by them. From one day to another, I cannot believe how much improvement in my asanas can be created. Today there were so many corrections for my asanas, I was dead tired when I came up to marichyasana c. But I feel like, my inner organs were squeezed and cleaned by all the movements that were completely done.

Oh the paper was finished yesterday, and it was the summation of the whole work I have done so far, it feels good to have everything compact in one place... Just need to proof read it and send to the department. Lucky me. It's the first time I am finishing something before its deadline..

Yoga and Life 3

2010-11-30T13:01:00.002+01:00

Image: Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Standing Forward Bend)- One of the easy ones...

Having longer arms and legs compare to your body makes some poses a piece of cake but then the poses where you cannot use this advantage turns into a struggle because you worked in an easy way with the other ones. Uhh. On my way to the yoga class this morning all I could think was that I wanted to practice neither Parivrtta Trikonasana (Revolved Triangle Pose) nor Parivrtta Parsvakonasana (Revolved Side Angle Pose). I was just like a spoiled kid, I will not will not will not practice them. Life is just easier without them and it went on and on and on. Gladly these thoughts were not there during sun salutations, but then the time came, I said ok, at least G should not come and fix the pose I will just do it quickly and will be done with them.... I usually sweat like crazy, my balance is like a ship in a storm, and my face is unhappy, my breaths are completely chaotic, man I hate these poses.. And of course G was next to me correcting, giving tips but I just told him I HATE these poses and he told me, well you can just do all the asanas in an easy way and claim that you are practicing ALL the asanas, and feel great but that you need to enjoy and learn completely each pose...

I used to compete in Snowboarding and since I was afraid or "did not have time" to try new things because I was enjoying the things I was already doing so much, after three years of competing in free style I was bored to hell, and there was no way I could improve myself after not improving myself for three years... And all the fun is in the improving. The point is not to get done something immediately, it's about observing the road as if you are travelling, once you get there it's already finished, you have nothing left, just some applauds and self satisfaction but that does not give joy for a long time I tell you.

So I will just observe the pain, the ship in the storm, the sweat, the square hips, mounting the toes, engaging the bandhas, keeping the breath calm and deep, turning the torso, resisting with the back leg, legs active and pulling up.... Breath and remain....

And can you believe that parivrtta trikonasana is good for asthma and parivrtta parsvakonasana could cure infertility?

Weekend Love

2010-11-29T12:12:00.003+01:00

If you are around Berlin you just got to see this show. There are no words to describe it... The week, the weekend, the month, everything passed so quickly and a paper due on Thursday.. No photos for the weekend... All cold and snowy, icy, cozy, friendly.

The study mood is on..

Have a warm and beautiful week everybody...

Images via here

Yoga and Life 2

2010-11-26T10:03:00.000+01:00

Being warm and taking time is good when you are practicing, and my asanas are much better because now the slowing down is possible. But it's amazing how yoga on the mat represents your life. The balance, the speed, the flexibility, the power... You can tell what's going on in a person's life by just watching them on the mat practicing.

And today me just tired, so tired and cannot believe it's already Friday.

Beautiful weekend everybody...

Cold...

2010-11-25T12:13:00.001+01:00

There is a fake sun which cannot make the weather warmer than -1 C degrees and it was snowing yesterday, so today every little piece of water is frozen.. But the yoga place was warm warm warm... Warm and radiant even though it was incredibly cold and dark outside. The moon was still beaming when I was about to finish my sun salutations which was a bit ironic, don't you think :)..

Yoga and Life

2010-11-23T20:31:00.000+01:00

There are some poses in Ashtanga Yoga that you think you can never manage or you think "oh this one will take so much time". Then you practice everyday, learn some tips and voila, the pose is there. Utthita Parshvasahita was one of the poses I thought I needed many years until I do it completely for two reasons: Your hamstrings must flexible and you need a perfect balance. But it's there. I like it. And now when I come across with a pose that is so difficult at a current stage the thought always accompanies: "Practice and all is coming" and I think that's true for everything in life.. "Practice and all is coming" Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

Have a lovely week everybody

Weekend Love

2010-11-21T22:16:00.000+01:00

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world...I found a female climbing partner! Finally... I always dreamed of such a day. It changes so many things, and you are there as not the princess the guys helping but two climbers - thinking together and supporting and having so much fun. Don't get me wrong, I love the feeling of the princesshood, but not in sports, it's a different world for me that I exist in with a totally wild nature... I haven't been climbing for so long I forgot how much fun it was. And the weekend starting from Friday morning was a yoga, beach volley, climbing marathon which I sometimes felt like a freak. I do not want to overdo things, but I cannot refrain myself from not doing them. It's just so much fun this way. And we will be brave enough to walk on the slack line next time.. It releases the tension they say.. LOL. Releasing tension, walking on a tide rope, 50 meters high from the floor!

And above adorable friends of mine, are visiting me and Berlin. It was a very nice get together. And an amazing, sunny but a very cold Sunday. The cold did not stop me from passing the Oberbaumbrucke with my bike and admiring my favorite view in whole Europe...

And this week passed so fast as similar to all past weeks... Before I knew it, it was Friday, my mouth dropped open and I just could not catch up with the time. Sigh...

it's rainy outside

2010-11-16T09:07:00.003+01:00

Finally the normal life... Where I could sleep in a reasonable hour and woke up in the morning feeling like a human being. Being sick, having deadlines, going through some personal problems can sometimes turn your life upside down. Well, you just try to survive... And the normal days come along.

I love this feeling after you work really really hard for some time. You feel like you deserve not to do anything.

But instead I will go to my yoga class, I will wear my rain boots, I will eat this delicious pizza with broccolis from the awesome Italian pizzeria, run errands that was postpone till today for a week and if the time allows continue studying...

Have a lovely Tuesday...

image found here via here

Weekend Love

2010-11-14T22:25:00.000+01:00

The weekend passed by so quickly... That always happens if you loose the control of life and if you have to overdo things. I am still a bit sick, and have to finish a paper by tomorrow, and still getting lost in the streets of Berlin.

I hope you had a much more moderate weekend with a lot of relaxation. That's definitely my plan for the next one. And I hope my paper turns out to be OK. Wish me luck and have a wonderful week.

the fallen shelf and the new old mirror

2010-11-09T17:12:00.001+01:00

The other night, the shelf on the wall fell at 2 am at night. It was not the one above my head thankfully, but then of course I removed the one above my head.. Well the room looks kinda nicer now I think.

And on Sunday, I went to Boxhagener Platz to check on the flee market for some night stand lamps to put next to my bed. But this old east Germany lamps, although second hand is so expensive, instead I bargained on a mirror and got it for half the price. I did not even know whether I needed one, but the bargaining was fun and once I got the price I bargained for I could not stop my self from buying it.

And I am sick.. I think it's a cold. I cough a lot at nights, and my throat hurts, and I feel tired all the time. So it's a cold.. But I do not get sick a lot, so it's not my place to complain really. It's just my excuse to stay at home and try different types of teas with honey and eat delicious salads.

And I am sick of unintentionally blurry photos and my camera. If you have great lenses and an awesome spare DSLR feel free to wrap them up for me for Christmas :)

Have a healthy week everyone..

Weekend Love

2010-11-08T13:58:00.000+01:00

It was a though weekend, emotionally and physically... It involved long walks in the rain, a lot of talking over hot chocolates or through internet with friends and I think they are just amazing... Thank you guys for the constant support, you are the best...

Is this real life?

2010-11-01T19:37:00.001+01:00

This is a hotel nearby... They periodically change what's written on the door! Remember this post? In April they had the "Is this real life?" thingy. Did you ever watch on youtube this kid after the dentist? It's from there... I do not know what's "This could have been Honolulu" - already googled and youtubed it!- Anybody any idea? Or I will just go in and ask one day. Besides, they are on my watch, I am curious about the next display!

Weekend Love

2010-10-31T21:02:00.003+01:00

I thought this weekend was gonna be all study and no fun, till I got a phone call for a coffee in the sun, till I got an invitation to the coolest Halloween party in town, till I realized that we have no control over our lives. Yup.. For those, like me, who has been ignorant, for ages what Halloween is about, here is a short intro from sugarhigh: "On Halloween, according to ancient Celtic beliefs, the border between our world and the ghostly one becomes thin, allowing spirits (both good and evil) to pass over." And my ancient soul came as a French gentleman, whom every girl fell in love with..

All the photos that are not Halloween are the surroundings where I live now, I really like it. And I finally remembered to take my camera with me on my way to Yoga this morning -no sun all gloomy- and on my way to library in the afternoon -sun glasses? Forget it! I wanted the sun rays permeating through my eyes, through my body, through every pore I have on my skin-- . Gotta go, gotta be writing these papers, learn some more German, read and read and read..

Have a great and lucky week everyone...

The New Room

2010-10-29T12:16:00.000+02:00

Hello from a sunny, warm day from Berlin. It's sooo warm, soo sunny, sooo nice.. I guess the last days of these.. OK, finally some more pictures of my tiny, cozy room. I am so slow at getting/ buying the stuff, so it was basically quite empty till two days ago. But I like slow and I like empty and I like that finally I can stop myself from being in a hurry and buying things with an urge. This kinda slow and not-so-much consuming life is just easier. But on the other departments of life, the slow did not work, and more deep departments of personal life it's a mess... Probably today is the only day that I am sitting in the same place for more than an hour. And it's because I ditched my yoga class, but I have beach volley in the afternoon, two of them together makes me so exhausted. Last Friday I went to bed at 8:30 pm cos' I was not able to stay up longer... So only one of them on a Friday... Oh the studies... Never enough, never ever never.. I gotta get up earlier or do something...

Have a lovely weekend everyone..

Weekend Love

2010-10-25T20:03:00.002+02:00

Silly me, I forgot to buy batteries for my camera and the whole weekend passed by without a single shot, and there could have been many amazing pictures...They are only in my mind now. I wish I could draw them...

This weekend was one of a kind. With a Bundestag visit and a several excursions to the beautiful places and a boat trip. All arranged by my scholarship providers. Buntestag is the parliament of Germany, truly amazing place. They recarved the walls so that the walls can show the history, namely graffitis :) So inside the parliament, there are writings from the Polish soldiers, from the end of the second war world. One graffiti was a heart declaring an endless love to G.. G came and visit the place seven years ago, after being married to the soldier for 60 years, now her husband being dead. Of course my eyes were all misty.

The building has many parts and if you ever visit Berlin, this is a must to see. I was not bored for a minute of the two hours of visit. And I want to go again. Saturday night was nice over a glass of wine with some girl talk.. How I needed that.. Studies are good, good... As my mother always asks, "When will I come out with an innovation?" . Soon, soon :) LOL, right, Philosophy of Maths...

All pictures from flickr. For the source please click on the photos.

Nowadays

2010-10-23T03:32:00.001+02:00

That's how my day was today.. Yoga practices are so good nowadays. My bellowed academic adviser, once upon a time, told me that it's not the practice that makes perfect, it's the controlled practice.. And it's so true. Everyday in Mysore classes, I learn at least one tip that makes a move easier, better, more fun. Did I tell you that my instructors are great in Ashtanga Yoga Berlin? Well you might hear it more :) Never seen such group of nice and fun people together.. My favorite pose is the above one nowadays, bhujapidasana...It's quite fun when your head touches the ground.

And today I attended my first beach volley practice. It felt amazing to be running all around in the marvelous, thin sand in this gloomy and cold weather (of course it's an indoor beach center :)

It's full moon tomorrow and no practices... I was so tired when I got home, I fell asleep at 9pm and of course now I am up fully awake (It's 2 am, sigh..) And I have got so much studying to do tomorrow, hope that goes well.

For the image sources just click on the pictures..

tiny bit from the room

2010-10-20T18:22:00.002+02:00

The rest will come later. The candles are such a must in Berlin. Cure for the gloomy weather... I am trying to catch up with my studies. Will put the images when I have some relax time to take them. A sunny weather possibly would be good too :) The area I live right now looks so Soviet, of course it was a part of east Berlin (DDR), I just love it and cannot wait to take some interesting photos, but now must study, really really study... So much to do.. Lovely days all..

Weekend Love

2010-10-16T23:42:00.003+02:00

Excuse the unintentionally blurry photos, just was too tired to get some really nice shots, and already feeling sad about it. So, that is how the weekend looked like. I live on the fourth floor of the building which means during my move I saw these doors probably infinitely many times. Aren't they so cool?

My ex-flatmate cooked the most incredible pizza as a fair-well dinner which unfortunately I have no photos of. There was also this amazing Grinderman concert on Thursday, all of'em rocked! And the crazy dancing yesterday. So not only I moved I was very socially attentive to the every event in town.

The first time I came to Berlin I only had two luggages, it's fascinating how fast we humans manage to accumulate stuff.. And I thought I was not getting anything! Anyway, everything is inside the new house now. Cannot believe it.. After this crazy couple of days, I think I will sleep the whole Sunday...

Have a lovely week everybody...

Moving...

2010-10-14T00:31:00.001+02:00

Today, between 8:30 pm and 9:30 pm, the amount of the cacao and sugar I have consumed could be illegal. I am longing for my favorite friends, Nin, Asli, B, the Sister, Mein Freund. They would make me tea, give me big hugs, let me cry and talk, feed me and would take care of me as long as I needed. But instead, I just ate lots and lots of chocolate because they all are soo, sooo far away...

I do not want to complain. Moving has a lot of positive sides in it: a new life, possibility of amazingly tasty light installations and the beautiful furniture, making new friends, getting used to a new neighborhood. But, but, of course there is a but. I am sooo, sooo tired. I do not trust my decisions, because I am just too tired, so I change my mind five times in a day about a thing I am about to do which makes me more tired.... And my reaction to stress and being tired is not to sleep, and as you can guess, that is juuuusst great"er". Do you want to hear me not complaining more? Ugh.. I cannot even find my to do list (s!)..I am so lost.. But moving is great.. Right (Say it as Mark Darcy, LOL)

Image via thatkindofwoman

Weekend Love

2010-10-10T23:45:00.001+02:00

My last weekend in my beautiful room with the last sunny marvelous view. I will miss this room... The first round of the things and thoughts were carried. The Turkish night and dinner was amazing, there is so few things that feels cozier than cooking together with a bunch of nice friends.. And of course the Raki singing :)) -Screamingly half-karaoke singing with the old/ arabesk Turkish songs- such a classic..And my flatmate's beautiful gift sweater- the color and the snowflakes, I just love it and the warmth of it. Since the Berliner autumn is officially here - it is equivalent to the very cold Izmir winter- my new project is finishing fast: a neck warmer...

I will be signing off for this week, it will be a crazy, super duper busy one. Wish me luck and have a great week!

Shoes and socks

2010-10-10T04:41:00.005+02:00

You know, there was a time that I was called Imelda Marcos, and I am not even a high heel girl... I am not a shopaholic either, but believe me I always want shoes. Or wanted...That was before I became a vagabond and lived in two tiny suitcases. But aren't these shoes and socks just adorable...

I will be travelling around till Thursday, then moving on Friday and also taking a language test on the same day. I will try to schedule the Weekend Love on Monday, let's see..

Oh, today, today, my led yoga practice was awesome. Just feeling great. The other details about the weekend coming soon (hopefully).

Have a lovely Sunday...

Image via wikstenmade

here they are

2010-10-07T01:17:00.005+02:00

Uh, it took so long right? I finally finished them, on my way to and from my yoga classes in S-Bahn, under the curious eyes of the passengers...

This pair only could be the reason to smile... It's been two tough days, and more is coming... Well what can you do right? Everything that needs to happen ....

My muscles felt like stones in my practice today... Just heavy stones. I should never do a-4-day-break again. One drawback about going into the class and practice (even it is Mysore) is that, you skip the practices at home. Tomorrow is new moon though, no practice anyway...

Weekend Love

2010-10-05T02:47:00.002+02:00

It was a long, tiring, productive, wonderful, stressful weekend. All in one - blended. Mein cool designer Freund is finishing his final project and I was finishing a paper. (He has a very cool blog too by the way!) We were working all the time. My back muscles are so tense, too much responsibility and optimization. No yoga :(

I was in Cambridge for a day. Lovely town, next time definitely relaxing and punting.

Unrelated to the weekend: I found a room and moving out on the 15th. Wish me luck. Hope it will not be a trauma.. But then who loves moving? Right?

On a totally unrelated matter to the all above: I just want a foldable city bike!

Happy week everybody!

Surya Namaskar B

2010-09-30T14:51:00.001+02:00

These calming images are via this talented photoghrapher
Sun salutation, the surya namaskar B is the second opening/ warm up sequence in Primary Series for Ashtanga Yoga. Below you can find the moves and explanations for them. Dristhi is your inner gaze. I have difficulty with fixing both the inner and the outer gaze... Whenever you get used to an asana, it's just harder to concentrate on it. The eyes want to wander, the mind wants to wander... And when you start to think everything becomes harder. The days I manage to not think about other things, even not the next asana, I feel very energized during and after the practice, uh but it's not easy, not easy at all....

The ideal amount for Surya Namaskar A and Surya Namaskar B is five repetition, the full circle..

Asana Name	Sanskrit Count	Breath	Drishti
Samasthiti	Samasthiti	-	-
Urdhva Vrikasana	Eka	Inhale	Angustha Ma Dyai /Thumb
Uttanasana A	Due	Exhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Uttanasana B	Trini	Inhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Chaturanga Dandasana	Chatuari	Exhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Urdhva Mukha Svanasana	Pancha	Inhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Adho Mukha Svanasana	Shat	Exhale, 5 breaths	Nabi Chakra / Navel
Uttanasana B	Sapta	Inhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Uttanasana A	Ashtau	Exhale	Nasagrai / Nose
Urdhva Vrikasana	Nava	Inhale	Angustha Ma Dyai /Thumb

image and source via here

that's one way of looking at things ...

2010-09-29T15:13:00.001+02:00

“Everything that needs to happen, will happen, in the time that it takes to happen, the way it was meant to happen. You need to trust in that.” via little reminders of love

OK, I am out of practice, but why not...

Talking about practice, today it was a great yoga practice, the whole primary. I love my teachers in Ashtanga Yoga Berlin. A proper review will come soon.

Image via here

Need chocolate, a lot of chocolate

2010-09-28T17:49:00.003+02:00

I have a rule, which I am about to break at the moment. I do not write here when I feel depressed, sad, or in a panic. I actually do not express myself in any public media when I feel like... Well, when I feel like I lost it. Because like happiness, being sad or depressed is like being drunk. You either exaggerate things happening around you or over look them.. But today, I just have to blurt it all out.

You know the questions, when something bad happens to you, you ask to yourself.:"what shall I learn from this?", "why is this happening to me?", "is it bad karma", "uh-oh did I do something wrong to deserve it?" I am tired of these question, so tired. I wore myself out. I am shaky, about to cry any moment, cannot concentrate on my yoga practice, cannot sleep regularly, have allergies, got a fine for a stupid reason, me being stupid in short, have to move out because of these (the photo) adorable cats -allergic to them . Ugh, it's just too much. And I am tired of telling my self this "everything is fine" mantra over and over again.

I was in the cafeteria, just ate half way of my extremely sweet cake, and was telling to my self, "everything is fi-" and the tears, unstoppable tears. Uh I must have looked like a lunatic. No, everything is not fine, I have to move out, I worry about my sister, worry about my academic future, worry about my not working lamp on my bike, worry about me worrying about myself... And feel really bad about worrying about these...

Guess just have to stop, or pause or whatever... It's OK, when everything is not fine.... It's just everything is not fine..

And above is the new haircut I gave myself couple of days ago.. Here here..

Weekend Love

2010-09-27T23:26:00.000+02:00

Hello dear reader. No I was not hunted by the fox, but I did not take many photos this weekend, well it was not a weekendy weekend. I rested a bit but mostly studied in the library and went to my Yoga classes... That's not true. I did not study on Sunday, I thought about it a lot. I could not decide whether taking a break is good or not then I voted for a one day break and just did almost nothing. There were no tickets left for Blonde Redhead Concert so went to Eat Pray and Love and liked it. But today I realized that breaks are not good for me, hello full throttle Oz. I realized one more thing: I do not believe in Umbrellas, I was so sure that I did not believe in Umbrellas, as a joke today I came across with the subjects of the first photo above. Silly Umbrellas and the invisible man...

Have a good, warm week, dear dear reader ...

Fear of the Fox

2010-09-24T21:54:00.000+02:00

Hello dear Fox, could you please stop coming out of nowhere in the dark and running after me and my bike. You are really scaring me. Every shadow in the dark on my way back home has become you..What if you were a lion or if I were a chicken? Booo..

Image via here

a little breake

2010-09-24T04:06:00.000+02:00

When it's sunny, this is my half an hour break point near the library. The fool moon is shining out of my window, making me lying in my bed, eyes wide open. Sigh...

7 - Adho Mukha Svanasana

2010-09-23T23:03:00.005+02:00

Adho Mukha Svanasana, Downward Dog: "Exhale as you push the hips up. Lengthen the spine from your sacrum through the top of your head. Press the heels toward the floor and lift the kneecaps. Gaze at your navel. Engage the bandhas and remain here for five deep breaths." David Swenson, Practice Manual

Drishti is a point of gaze or focus, yet it has little to do with our physical sight. The real "looking" is directed internally. Directing the attention...

To complete the sun salutation A, you do Uttasana A and B -8 & 9, Urdhva Vrksasana -10, and Samasthiti -11. This takes 15 breaths. See what we all can accomplish in 15 breaths. Amazing isn't it?

My Sister's Pilates Classes in Urla

2010-09-22T00:04:00.002+02:00

I am such a proud sister! My sister is giving pilates classes in Urla. Kaan made her website so quickly I was just amazed. They made a great team. Well done guys.

You can get private classes from Ezgi as well. You are very lucky if you can get your training from her because she is such an amazing instructor... . Here is her website and here is her pilates blog. Ah and the location... location is pure bliss!

In the photo: Ezgi the sister

Design Tuesday

2010-09-21T15:05:00.001+02:00

Could I please have this bathroom. Omg.. Want... Actually as Kaan pointed out, the house I am living in right now is not much more different than the pictures I keep posting. OK, there are some things missing and it's not mine, but it's beautiful. So, today, could I just enjoy the beauties instead of wanting, I ask. But could I still have this bathroom, pleaseee?

Image via That Kind of Woman

Weekend Love

2010-09-20T12:05:00.001+02:00

This is how our weekend looked like. Studying, coffees in the cafes, studying in the cafes. Time with Einstein and Godel, time with Marine Design Projects. The best and cheapest sushi in the world and in Kreuzberg, the best tiramisu in Mein Haus Am See, mint tea in Oberholz, more Godel and more dead fish. Flee market experience in Boxhaganer.. Adaptation, the cold weather, the rainy weather, the S-Bahns, Zurueck bleiben bitte ...

Weekend Love

2010-09-14T20:44:00.002+02:00

It was a crazy week and a weekend. Me and my sister are officially international Pilates instructors! A great training program we attended. But we had to get up early, drive for an hour in highways, and come back quite late after almost 7 hours training.

We had lots of visitors this summer including the visit of my four year old cousin this weekend being all adorable.

The smell of autumn is here and I am packing to leave....

Happy week all the travelers!

6 - Urdhva Mukha Svanasana

2010-09-10T22:05:00.008+02:00

Urdhva Mukha Svanasana/ Upward Facing Dog is the sixth asana in ashtanga yoga and still part of the surya namaskars. In Chaturanga Dandasana remember you have given a full breath with ujjayi breathing? Now, take a deep breath with rolling your toes and remembering still to engage the bandhas. The thighs and the knees are not touching the floor, look up and the gaze should be between the eyebrows. The ears should be away from the shoulders as far as possible and the shoulders should be rolled back and must remain over the wrists.With an exhale and lifting your hip you will come into the next pose, Adho Mukha Svanasana/ downward facing dog.

The image belongs to Ursula. She is a marvelous yogini and has an amazing yoga blog. A true inspiration I say..

By the way, remember I mentioned about an homeopathic cure for my allergies? It is called Jala Neti and I still think it's a miracle as long as the water does not come out from your eyes :)! Do you know that last week a doctor almost convinced me to a "minor" operation which he forgot to mention that I was gonna walk around purpe-blue faced for a month! Anyway I can breath and thankful to any yogic teachings once again. Oh the details about how to practice Jala Neti is here...

Have a good practice all the yogis and yoginis!

Design Tuesday

2010-09-07T22:13:00.001+02:00

One thing I also keep reminding myself apart from that blackboard : When I get my real, settling-more-than-one-year-house with a living room, the living room will have a beautiful hammock preferably for more than one person. This living room is adorable, and also suitable for yoga practitioners, isn't it?

I have a very busy schedule in coming days. I will tell you what I am occupied with when everything is complete and documented. I am excited!

By the way, I have learned a lot about icelandic sweaters since my last post about them. They are originally called Lopapeysa (amazing photos of them if you click on the link), and one needs a special yarn to knit it which is called Lopi. The wool of my first try was not so good, and it just did not turn out the way I want, the second one has a similar story as well. - Yes, I am an ambitious lady :)-...I just need to find the German distributor and order the wool when I get back. Will I finally have my dream Lopapeysa in the end I wonder...

Image via That Kind of Woman

Weekend Love

2010-09-06T21:50:00.005+02:00

Some photos belong to last Sunday, the ones which were taken in Iskele- Urla... The water is turning red like the Red Sea in the north of Urla....Lots of planktons were suddenly dead due to unexpected temperature change, so we get the muddy sea side in the daylight but amazing view when the sun sets...Temporarily they say..And I say, hopefully..

It was a loong weekend again, with only a little study time of course... We went to Cesme for a bit of fun and relaxation. It was so lovely since the crazy crowd is gone. My allergies came with us...Hence, only half the experience for me. With the antihistaminics and the mucus in my brain I was lucky to even swim safely. But now I have a great homeopathic cure which I think is working so anyone with long lasting hay fever come and see me.. . Our breakfast was amazing in Alacati- Imran, which I have no photos, but as I said it was amazing, we could not even think of taking any pictures..

Did you like my parents decoration for "under the walnut tree"? These are old arm chairs and I think it's one of the loveliest views I have ever seen. Good work Nursen.

And my marvelous cousin loved the Ashtanga yoga when she practiced with me. Eventually she was so good at it in one day, she could lecture by sitting on and passing under me in every position available...

Aaand, we made grape molasses and wine this morning... I can only upload a photo from my first molasses making days. I was dead tired and still either sick or allergic, so could only concentrate the work to be done. There is still some work for tomorrow with the molasses, maybe I can get some good photos.

I hope this week happens to be a great one for all of you!

Icelandic Sweaters

2010-09-04T13:55:00.001+02:00

You know I thought these were called Norwegian Sweaters and was desperately searching for patterns of these... Accidentally, when my flatmate showed some photos of Iceland in preparation of her trip, I just realized everybody was wearing these sweaters... And finally I can find many many cardigan and sweater patterns. Since now it is not so hot and I feel quite domestic, I might just start the above cardigan. So beautiful.. Image via here

Blackboards

2010-09-03T23:31:00.000+02:00

One thing that I gotta remember when I am back: getting a blackboard. Or maybe a white board? Depends on which one I am less allergic to.

Have a fantabulous weekend!

Image via purselipsquarejaw

The Bedroom

2010-09-02T22:11:00.000+02:00

I know I know it's not a Tuesday... But this is it, I actually have kind of a similar bedroom, but can I have this one. Please? Via 16 house. Isn't it so simple yet so beautiful... The asymmetry is the key and of course the fluffy duvet too.. By the way I so am in the mood of the Elephant Gun.. The beaaaauuuutyyyy, the beauty, simply...

5 - Chaturanga Dandasana

2010-09-02T16:46:00.001+02:00

Chaturanga dandasana/ four-limbed staff pose is still part of the surya namaskars/ sun salutations in ashtanga yoga. Use your full exhale from uttasana b to come to this pose with ujjayi breathing. You can jump back, walk with small steps, or walk in two big steps, it looks like the push up, but your forearms should not go away from your body, inside the elbows should be towards where your eyes are looking. And ends of each finger should touch the ground firmly. You are still exhaling by the way. Bring the chest down, dristhi / the gaze is at the nose. If you do not have enough strength in your arms put your knees down when you start this pose, in time you will build enough strength. With the inhale and rolling over the toes you will come into urdhva mukha svanasana/ upward facing dog. Let the breath lead you, if you think or do not follow the breath, you will realize that you become tired much more quickly... So just let the breath lead you, seriously you do not need to do anything else, ah and of course engage your bandhas always and ever.

Have a good practice all the yogis and yoginis!

Non-Procrastinating Episodes

2010-09-01T18:17:00.000+02:00

To procrastinate or not to procrastinate... ?

From now on I will give extra effort to procrastinate since it's a must and I gotta do it. I really need to see some results immediately after all..

Actually, dear ma'friend, I just found out the way to defeat the procrastination, but it turns out I do not even need it now. O mon dieu, what can you do? Ce la vie..

And despair demotivators have just become my favorites... I have never seen such genius and motivating effect together, as you can see it's already paying off..

Images via flickr You can click on the images if you want to reach to the original sources

Ninja Cat

2010-08-31T13:47:00.001+02:00

I just had to share this! It made me laugh so hard. Via my new addiction, the flickr blog..And no, they do not pay me anything :) And there are more here, all so funny!

Design Tuesday

2010-08-31T13:34:00.000+02:00

This beauty hurts... Alexander Calder's home via desert fete. There are more photos in fete's blog. White houses belong to the taste of depressed and obsessed me but I would say I could happily live in this house..

Greenland and Flickr Blog

2010-08-30T16:58:00.001+02:00

Could somebody please take me here? It reminds me of the Hal Hartley movie, No Such Thing....Well the movie was in Iceland but the isolated village the girl first arrived and got really drunk looked like this village. Ever since I saw that movie, I just wanted to experiment such an isolated life. Only for a little while maybe?

Or could somebody just teach me how to do this? I mean both taking such a good photo and also doing a back flip that beautifully...All images are from flikr blog. My new addiction

Weekend Love

2010-08-29T16:08:00.003+02:00

Preparing this post was so much fun since somebody on this earth accidentally and finally learned html. Yes, we are talking about me. Well it was just editing what's there and finding out about the secret of photo arranging and you know what? It feels great to have more control. Finally, finally! And have you ever tried PhotoScape? It makes way easier to edit photos and I feel like I do not need another camera if one can enhance the photos that much -Did I really believe that?.-. I know it's much cooler to be seen taking photos with a DSLR, but still.. I am just playing for now, and that was so much fun as well.

The photo of Galata Tower does not really belong to the weekend, I think it was a Tuesday? Before I got back to my parents house we went out in Tunnel and had a very relaxing, delicious night out... Owww the Mojitos and at home the Mastika liqueur... My parents were so happy that I was back, they made us -all four- clean the windows, and our house has infinitely many windows... At least it was a suitable work for the heat, with splashing water from the hose and all... In my coffee cup, seen in my sister's hand, there were lots of roads to travel and business to manage.. And I finally was getting rid of all my troubles, but anyway those troubles were only in my head and was only my creations...Of course my wish was granted.. And for the last photo, you can just click on it for the description...

Blogosphere Friday

2010-08-27T15:20:00.005+02:00

I do not know if in the blogosphere there is anyone who has not heard about the sartorialist. You can come across with him in any where around the world. He is the guy who has a camera in his hands and gets the picture of ordinary but beautifully dressed people. I adore his photos and also the people in it. And of course the image is via the sartorialist...

3 & 4 - Uttasana A and B

2010-08-26T21:23:00.008+02:00

Uttasana A./ standing forward bend. Exhale with ujjayi breathing and the dristhi, in other words the gaze should be at the tip of the nose. And with Uttasana B, look at the horizon, straighten your back and you are ready for the next pose, chaturanga dandasana/ four limbed staff pose...

Just got to Izmir today. The tatata tititi of my tiny luggage, the airports, the cars, the flight attendances... Letting go is the key for coping nowadays, we do not have any control, none at all...Sigh..

New Methods

2010-08-25T19:13:00.002+02:00

Everybody has their own ways for each and every path in life. We have to develop methods to survive, to cope, to live. Now I came to a point where I realize I have to change my ways of doing things because they are not working anymore. To find a new method is not a piece of cake. I am sure if I google it I can get a lot of help. Even learning programming which in the past I dreaded so much is now a piece of cake. Well LaTeX is not really programming but still, thanks to google it's so easy to learn and implement it.

I think most of us do not give ourselves enough credit for what we accomplish and for that reason we cannot find enough motivation for the forthcoming projects. Like I said everybody has different methods for different ways in life. For writing a big project what could be done to motivate oneself? I read here that one grad student was allowing herself one square of chocolate for every written paragraph. LOL, the other one just got himself a car since he reduced alcohol consumption! Sounds like a good technique. Do you have any other suggestions?

The photo by Kaan, in Bebek Kitchenette...